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That unlocked something within him, a final, monumental understanding taking place.
“Where were you?” Brand’s lids slid closed, his exhale teasing at the loose tendrils of her hair before he turned to face the rest of them. “Where was anyone?” His markings flashed, the sunlight whorls racing over his body. “I met with Okthana hundreds, maybe thousands of times for a decade. Where were you?”
Both Alwyn and Fionerys jolted back, blinking, while his brothers shared confused looks.
“I hardly ever left your side, lad,” Magnus said. “I had no idea…”
“No. I know.” Brand hung his head, shaking it. “When it started, you and I were little more than toddlers. I didn’t even grasp that you were my brother yet, and I went to ridiculous lengths to keep what I thought was my beloved hound out of it. Araxis was a literal baby, but I worked just as hard to exclude him once he was old enough to follow, because I was bloody petrified he would end up in the same state. I knew it was dangerous, even if I couldn’t remember why. The two of you are not included, not responsible for this…this…”—he dug a fist into his chest, over his heart—“fucking agony twisting inside me.”
Turning on his parents and two oldest brothers, he swept his arm wide. “I want to know why the adults didn’t notice. I want to know how no one saw the fucking steps I called from the side of Argoph’s outer walls and left there for years. How there wasn’t a single person who witnessed my coming and going, or her lurking. How someone never came to tuck me in, only to find that I was fucking gone. Over and over, night after night, she was sinking her claws into me. Violating my innocence. Corrupting my very being. How!”
He scoffed, scrubbing a hand across his brow. “All those episodes I was having. The fits and attempts to run away. I accidentally imprisoned every last creature in the palace, for fuck’s sake. You were kind, and forgiving, but no one thought to look deeper? To think it went beyond my Blessing and erratic powers, or that I needed more than a kiss on the head and pat on the back before you washed your hands of it and moved on?”
“Brandir…” Fionerys breathed, gaping as her tears continued to stream.
Brand’s shoulders heaved, clearly waiting for her to continue. His head darted towards his father, then Amun and Vann—all silent and stupefied, though he was practically begging one of them to say something. Anything.
When no one did, the quiet scrape of his voice raked over them. “While everyone was focused on hosting Realm Rulers and feasts, on lessons and manners and whether we were fit for our positions as High Ambassadors to the rest of the fucking world…” His lips peeled back and he clenched his fists, entire body vibrating. “I was being called a sweet boy for my fear. A dear boy every time I shared a secret. I was perfect when I allowed her to touch and hold me. I was darling when I wept. I was being such a good fucking boy while she ruined me.
“And our beloved Sisters, those celestial goddesses meant to protect and guide us…” He began to pant, fighting against the rage as his horns started to curl and his fangs dropped. “Where were they? Where…”
Amal tried to stand, wary and defensive, but Fern wrenched her back down with a glare and mumbled words that Lunara didn’t hear. All of her attention was on feeding Brand her unending, unconditional support. On holding her own heartbreak back while letting him know she was right beside him. That it was okay to let go.
Brand lifted his face to the sky, to their creators, body bowing as he roared, “Where the fuck were you?”
It shook the diamond stone of Argoph, leaves and blooms and branches rustling violently in its wake. Even so, he kept his control, features reverting to the Lesser as his whorls of power dissipated.
Stirling yowled—awful and adorable—butting his head against Brand’s cheek. At that, Lunara felt the slow release of his shoulders in her own, the tension bleeding away as his peace swept over her like a warm, gentle wave.
“I know to my bones that you never would’ve let it happen if you’d been aware. And I…I recognize that there aren’t any answers. How could there be?” He sagged, pinching the bridge of his nose. “For all we know, she was making the rest of you forget as well. Trying to place the blame anywhere but on Okthana is pointless. Fruitless. I just…” Against all odds, Brand chuckled—a wild sound that forced its way through his tears. “It’s been utterly overwhelming to remember all at once. So much confusion. So many questions. I needed to share the burden. To be heard, and to feel like I wasn’t carrying it alone.”
“You’re not,” Fionerys rushed out. “You can say whatever you want, if you need to talk about it more. Or we could—”
“No, mum.” He was gentle in his denial, but the empress reared back as though he’d struck her. “I apologize for my outburst but, for fucking once, I said everything I wanted to without holding back and now I’m… Shite. Please. I need it to be done.”
“A-alright.” She offered a wobbly nod. “Whatever you need.”
“Thank you.” Brand turned and sank a hand into Lunara’s hair. “We’re going to bed but will see you all in the morning to discuss our strategies for Thodelebor.”
The abject shock radiating out from every one of the Imperial Family might’ve been funny under different circumstances. As it was, she was hurting for all of them. This was a very rude awakening, for his parents especially. Everyone having some space for a little while was probably best.
“What are you doing?” Fern hissed. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Gladly.
Lunara pulled Brand into the ether, his mouth already on hers when they materialized in his Imperial chambers. He only broke away long enough to peel Stirling off and set him down before he was there again.
From outside the open balcony doors, the Montriver hammered down, its massive fall drowning out the sound of anything else. Above, the twin moons shined through the glass dome from their bed of stars, the beams dancing.
Between that and the soft, golden glow of intermittent stones, it was absolutely stunning. Especially for a place holding so much pain.
He’d snuck out and over that balustrade countless times, scaling Argoph’s slick walls, unknowingly subjecting himself to emotional torture again and again. She’d climbed onto it on one of the worst days of her life, thinking the next, weightless step would save him and everyone else because she’d been a desperate fool.
So much bad happened here, but it seemed they were both of a mind to erase it with new, better memories.
Her back hit the nearest bed post and Brand pinned her hands to it. “Clothes, little moon,” he rumbled against her throat, goosebumps chasing after the gravelly sound.
He didn’t need to ask twice.