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She gasps. “The car accident! You were there?”
“And I forgot a lot of things.” I purse my lips and bite my cheek. “See, Zev was my boyfriend. But I don’t remember him.”
Partida’s eyes widen. “Wow. He is a pretty big thing to forget.”
I let out a breathless chuckle. “Yes, Partida, he is. A very big thing.”
“So… he isn’t your boyfriend now?”
“I—I don’t know. I don’t know how someone you don’t remember can be your boyfriend. Does that make sense?” I rest my clammy hands in my lap, drying them off on my pants. “In my mind, we met just a couple months ago.”
“I guess that’s tricky. But I think he still wants you. If Zev wanted me—” Her eyes widen, and I appreciate her cutting that sentence off. “None of this makes a lot of sense, Rosie.”
I blow out a raspberry. “You are correct about that.”
“What are you going to do now?” she says, her eyes saucers.
“I don’t know. I’m waiting. I’m hoping my memories will come back. I don’t know how else I’m going to make sense of all this.” I blow out a shaky breath. I’m going to start calling Partida little Dr. Case.
“What if your memories don’t come back?” she asks.
I bite my cheek, my eyes searching the tabletop. “They have to. Otherwise, I have no idea how to figure all this out.”
“Hmm.” She drums her fingers on the table. “Do you remember your mom?”
“Yeah. I remember my mom. My brain lost a few years, but not all of my life.”
“Then you should probably talk to your mom. That’s what grandpa tells me when I’m in tricky situations.” She lifts one shoulder. “She’ll be able to answer your questions.”
Staring up at my ceiling, I hold my phone close to my ear, my bedroom dim. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hey, sweetheart. It’s been a few days.”
It’s been more than a few. I got busy, and then I had an attack—one I didn’t even tell her about—and then I was angry. At whom—I’m not even sure. I think mostly with Retrograde Amnesia and a memory that refuses to return. As well as myself.
“Yeah. I know. It’s been a weird week.” My next words are shaky, but I have to say them. “And seeing as how my memories may never return, I have some questions.”
She exhales; I hear it over the phone. She’s been waiting for this call.
“Just a few,” I say. I’m not giving her permission to open every can of worms. My body and mind aren’t ready.
“Whatever you want, Rosalie.”
I wish we were together. But Mom is in Southern California and I’m on the Nevada side of Lake Tesoro. “You knew about Zev?”
“Yes.” She doesn’t act surprised and she doesn’t say more. I appreciate her patience.
“Did you approve? I mean, did you and Dad like him?”
“Very much. We gave our wholehearted blessing.”
Their blessing— My heart rate speeds up and my breaths turn shallow with the thought of talking about an engagement I don’t remember.
So serious. I let out a shaky breath. “That’s all. Thanks.”
“Rosalie, I know you aren’t ready for everything just now. And that’s okay. None of us can truly comprehend or judge where you are in this journey. But I do believe that, one day, you’ll be ready to hear about that entire six-year gap.”
“Honestly, Mom, I’m just hoping I remember. I don’t want to be shocked over and over again. It hurts, it makes me anxious, and it doesn’t feel good.”
