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‘Do you really think I give a damn, Miss Gray?’
‘No, but I do. When a woman has not the protection of wealth or family connection, her virtue is the only thing of value left to her.’
He swung her to the ground, chastened. ‘You’re right. I can be cavalier with my own name in a way you cannot be with yours. I apologise.’ He gave her his arm while Davey took the horses’ reins and followed at a distance. ‘It seems I have much to apologise for, Miss Gray.’ Eliza looked at him with a question in her eyes and he continued quietly, ‘Mrs Wolfe tells me my conversation with you in Bath was ambiguous and did not convey my meaning clearly enough. The lady you saw with me is Mrs Cornford, a widow whom I have known a long time. We offered each other a kind of friendship and esteem.’ He took a deep breath. It was obvious he found this difficult. ‘She has not expected marriage from me and I have not been able to offer it.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘But it is you, Miss Gray, I was speaking of. And I am sorry for confusing the matter. I am myself confused, unused as I am to this tumult beating in my brain.’
Eliza was wary. She had reconciled herself to mattering little in his life and could not bear any further plunging disappointment. He continued quietly, as if he barely understood his feelings himself, ‘For so long I’ve prided myself on my impervious heart, unmoved by either love or hate. But now that resolve has cracked, the gates of my soul have opened and fear like an assaulting army has stormed in. Fears of loss once more are hammering on my door.’ His face had grown anguished with memory. ‘When I thought I had killed you with my horses, my heart stopped; you lay on the ground as lifeless as my poor sister had lain all those years ago. It once more felt like a repeat of that nightmare. But this time, I thank God you opened your eyes, filled with life, not dimmed by death. I knew then you would live, and that I had met my fate.’
Eliza’s chest was constricted as she faced the full import of his words. She reached for his hand to try and steady herself; could she be hearing this right? That in that moment when their eyes first met, he had recognised her as she had him? In a voice full of wonder she asked, ‘Can it be you pierced through the careful mask I showed to the world and saw me for who I am?’
In answer he held her hand against his chest. ‘Feel that heartbeat, Miss Gray. No longer as slow as a hibernating bear’s, now racing like my hunting greyhound in the chase. You have so unsettled me. My thoughts are filled with you by day and haunt my dreams by night. How can I maintain sanity? What am I to do?’ Eliza’s hand seemed to be vibrating in rhythm with his thrumming heart and the intimacy of that moment was all she had ever longed for; a connection soul to soul was hers at last, and she felt light-headed with joy.
His dark eyes were searching hers. ‘Desire and reason assail me. I see the right way and approve it, but then am mesmerised by your eyes and cannot but follow the wrong.’
Eliza’s hand was still held by his and she said quietly, ‘My lord, what is wrong with following your desires?’
‘No man is free without being master of himself. Detachment and reason were the gods keeping me from chaos. I fear untrammelled emotion; I cannot become a gibbering ghost of myself.’
Eliza remembered his family’s crest; wrinkling her brow with concentration, she recalled Taz’s translation and quoted it. ‘“Venus, like Fortune, favours the bold” – what of your family motto now?’
Raven Purfoy looked startled, then amused. ‘So you’re an advocate as well as an equestrian artist and outrageous beauty!’ He was once more serious and said with intensity, ‘Miss Gray, can I hope that you might grace me with your affection, and teach my poor heart to love?’
Overwhelmed with feeling herself, she wished to answer, ‘Yes, yes, yes!’ but before she could utter a word, a man on a striking grey horse cantered up to them. Eliza snatched her hand away and turned her face so her heightened colour was obscured by the flaring brim of her bonnet.
‘Why, if it isn’t the Winged Venus and my haughty Lord Purfoy. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.’ Ignoring Raven Purfoy’s thunderous look, Lord Davenport continued in his suave way, ‘I have had some good fortune. Through a stroke of unruly fate, I have become the Marquess of Bathwick and lord of the Bathwick estates in Somerset. My pecuniary embarrassment is over, thanks to the vagaries of family inheritance.’
‘So you are no longer under water with the clubs?’ Lord Purfoy enquired with a sneer.
‘No indeed. I shall return to the game, my pockets filled with gold.’
‘No doubt there will be many gamesters glad to hear that.’
Then as Lord Davenport wheeled his horse round to return the way he had come he said, ‘I’ll see you at the races, Purfoy. I think it’ll be a battle between the black and the white, and this year my ambition is that my ghostly beauty will beat the invincible Horatio.’ As he gathered his reins to leave he said, ‘I hope you bring your pretty little filly with you.’
Eliza gasped at his wanton talk. She stole a glance at Raven Purfoy. His jaw was set hard and she could see a muscle twitching as if he were attempting to keep his emotions in check. Through gritted teeth he hissed, ‘Davenport, that is no way to speak of a lady. Apologise to Miss Gray, now!’
Lord Davenport drawled with his furtive smile, ‘I had no intention of disrespecting you or anyone. My apologies, Miss Gray.’ He inclined his head and then in an instant he had spurred his horse and was gone.
This crass interruption had broken the mood between them. Eliza was shaken by the news of Lord Bathwick’s death, so casually imparted, and said to Lord Purfoy, ‘The Bathwick title and estates were my legal father’s.’
His face had lost none of its grimness. ‘I’m sorry you had to hear of his demise like this.’
‘I did know it was close. A friend, my half-sister as it turns out’ – she still could barely believe the words – ‘told me Davenport had sped down to Bath to ensure no legal deflections in his inheritance.’
Lord Purfoy looked at Eliza with a brooding expression. ‘My newly sensitised heart means I now hate as passionately as I love. And I am disconcerted to find how much contempt I have for that man. I intend to deprive him of as much of the Bathwick inheritance as I can. I shall set to work with that purpose tonight on the gaming tables at White’s.’
Davey approached with the horses and they both set off in silence back to Brook Street. As they reached the mews, Lord Purfoy drew Eliza aside to say, ‘I’m sorry about that rude interruption. I hope this time I’ve made my feelings clear. With you I have come to see what life is, what love can be. Is it too much of a burden to place in your hands?’
A wave of the emotion of the last few days broke over her. Family loss and gain had wracked her spirit, but most miraculous of all, the man she thought could never be hers was offering her his life.
Her voice shook as she answered, ‘From the moment I first saw you my heart was yours. If you will have it.’
He took both her hands and pressed them to his lips. Taz had emerged to unsaddle Horatio and, seeing this last gesture, smiled.
As Eliza ran upstairs to change, a feeling of dread fell heavily on her spirit. She could no longer ride Ohio for Mr Flynn in the race. After Lord Purfoy had opened his heart to her, she could not humiliate or betray him by masquerading as a jockey to compete against Horatio. It was necessary to find Zadoc Flynn immediately and tell him.
Dressing quickly, she asked Polly, ‘Have you seen Mr Flynn?’
‘Don’t think he’s up yet. He was out late last night.’