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When I finally start to sit up, he moves me to lie so he can reach into the back seat and grab wipes to clean me. It’s so goddamn sweet, and it makes me tear up.

Still, he doesn’t judge me or the fact that I am now crying after he fucked me.

Once we are redressed, he pulls me out of the truck, and we go to the back. He’s taken blankets out of the back seat to toss in the bed of his truck so we can sit. He places me between his legs so I can lie back on his chest. I have Alex’s shirt and the note, prepared to break my own heart.

Nora,

I know you said just one night, and I said I was okay with it, but I’m a liar. I can’t imagine a life where you aren’t being doted on. Where you aren’t happy and loved.

I’ve spent years loving you from a distance, jealous of all the parts of you that Liam got to see, and I didn’t. Truthfully, I’ll cherish this time I've gotten to show you how much love you deserve.

I know tomorrow you’ll go back to pretending none of this ever happened. Maybe that’s easier for you. I just hope that someday, when life doesn’t feel quite so fucking heavy, you look back on tonight and remember that someone thought you were worth loving. That you were never too far gone to find happiness.

I know the world might seem dark right now, but there’s always tomorrow. So, hold out a little longer to watch the sun rise, because the light will always return.

No matter where you go, I hope you’ll see yourself the way I see you right now. I hope you let yourself find someone who reminds you every single day that you deserve to be happy.

Take care of yourself, Nora. Be the person that you needed yesterday.

-Alex

P.S. You’re pretty cute when you are sleeping. I can only hope you are dreaming of me.

I am sobbing by the time I finish the letter. He said goodbye without knowing he would be the one who wouldn’t make it to tomorrow. He’s the one who never got to see the sun rise.

What the fuck am I doing sitting here pretending I don’t know Gabriel did this? He is a fucking monster, and my silence is what got Alex killed. How many more people have to die before I finally realize I am worth saving?

“I can’t do this anymore,” I cry.

“Hey. Look at me,” Liam says, turning me to take my face between his hands.

“I can’t…”

“You can, Nora. I promise you can,” he says softly. “I know this hurts. Believe me, I do…”

“You don’t get it,” I say tearfully. “I did this. I got him killed, Liam. He died because he was with me.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Someone did this because he was with me… I… He’s dead because of me…” I cry. “I need help. I can’t do this anymore. I need help, Liam.”

“Who, baby?” he asks softly. “Whatever it is, I am right here to face it with you, okay? I swear to God, you aren’t alone.”

“It was…”

I hear movement nearby, and I know. I don’t know how, and I can’t see him, but I know. “We have to go,” I say quickly. “Now, Liam. We need to go now.”

“Come on,” he says, pulling us out of the bed of the truck. I run around the truck to get in, but look up to see Gabriel behind Liam.

“Liam!” I scream. He spins around, and a gunshot echoes off the trees. Liam freezes as his hands move up to his chest. When he drops down to his knees, something inside of me breaks.

I have spent most of my life suffocating these violent thoughts. Assuming I was crazy because I couldn’t quiet the noise. I never let myself act on it, so everyone was safe. Everyone was clueless. I told myself I would be the end of Gabriel, no matter if it cost me everything.

It doesn’t even feel like it’s me who gets the tire iron out of the bed of the truck. It’s as though I am watching myself from above as I walk around the back of the truck. Gabriel is standing over Liam, screaming something at him. I can’t hear him. I can’t hear anything but my heart pounding in my ears. The voice in my head is begging me to do it. Begging me to finally put an end to this madness.

The first swing is the hardest. The sickening crack of his skull as he immediately crumples to the ground. Hardly conscious, I kick him on his back so I can stand over him.

I swing the iron bar again.