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“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, are you offended that I don’t think he would want to serenade you or that he didn’t?” I asked, making him scoff.
“Good point.”
“Yeah, the very best… now, should we at least go check?” I asked, making Aster shrug.
“It’s a risk of being caught.”
“Okay, what about this? If it’s not him, then we just drown the bugger instead… How about that, more to your liking?” I offered making him grin.
“Yeah, works for me.”
“Excellent, would you like to do the honors… Gods, alive, he’s fucking awful.” I breathed, needing to clamp a hand over my mouth to smother the hysterical laughter clawing its way up my throat.
Aster sniggered. “Sounds like a real toe-tapper.”
“Ready to face the tone-deaf beast?” I asked, but before Aster could so much as object, I shoved the door open.
I had braced myself to storm in, blades raised.
Instead, the both of us stopped dead in our tracks.
The room beyond was vast, steam drifting lazily through the warm air. Hundreds of candles flickered along the shelves and in the alcoves, filling the place with the scent of some sweet flowering forest. Petals drifted across the surface of an enormous bath carved from a single block of dark stone.
And there, in the very middle of it all, sat the most feared ruler in all the Badlands.
And apparently, he was also…
Taking a bubble bath.
The Gorgon King lifted a slice of cucumber from one eye, the movement catching the light on a heavy silver ring upon his finger, a dark stone set deep in its centre.
“Most people tend to knock”, he said, completely unfazed by our abrupt arrival. Aster slid me a sidelong look, and I could tell he was every bit as thrown as I was.
“You’re taking a bath,” I said in astonishment.
Theron glanced down at himself, as though only now becoming aware of the fact. “Your powers of observation are truly an inspiration to us all.”
I glanced at the bath. There was an alarming quantity of foam.
“I expected something rather more… intimidating,” I admitted, half-tempted to sheathe my blade.
“So many do,” he replied with a sigh.
Aster cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, bath time’s over. You’re needed in Theïkós.”
Theron reached for a crystal goblet resting at the bath’s edge and took a slow, leisurely sip of what looked like red wine, though, from the stories I’d heard, I would not have been the least surprised to learn it was his latest enemy’s blood.
“I think not,” he said pleasantly, plucking the second cucumber slice from his other eye. He regarded us both, entirely unhurried. “Last I heard, you two were rather busy watching your own kingdom burn to the ground. And now here you stand, interrupting my bath, thinking what precisely? That you might pop over and have a go at my kingdom as well?”
The jab landed exactly where he’d aimed it. I felt the growl rise in my throat before I could stop it.
“Careful, Gorgon king. You’ve no idea what you’re…”
“Mm.” He waved a wet, dismissive hand, foam sliding from his wrist. “But lucky for you, she obviously got there in time.” And then, quieter, half to himself, something that almost looked like genuine astonishment crossed that great stone-carved face, “By the gods’ own balls. She actually did it.”
“Enough of this! You’ll come now,” I growled. “Of your own free will. Or we kidnap you. Those are the choices.”
