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“Mate instincts, a mistake. It won’t happen again,” she grumbles, eyeing the beast before sparing me a look. “This wasn’t an accident. This was sent, and it wasn’t for me. It was for you.”

There’s a question in her statement, one I don’t answer. The others are right here with me, and when I blink, her eyes are narrowed, no doubt sensing me talking to them.

“We should head back.”

CHAPTER

TEN

It’s obvious Raiden isn’t going to say anything, he even shifted back to that adorable fox to avoid my questions, so instead I follow him down the mountain, annoyed with him, them, and myself. I saved him, and I have no idea why. As soon as I saw that creature emerge from the darkness, I moved on instinct, but he won’t even tell me what it was. Bastards. I don’t know why I would expect anything else from them though. We are enemies, after all, and if it wasn’t for the bond, we would kill each other. This mating is messing with my logic, and I don’t like it one fucking bit. The sooner I am free, the better, even if that means going back to the one place I hate most.

After all, I was going to have to for my revenge anyway.

I silently follow him, and at the cabin, I shake off as much snow as I can before ducking inside. They already knew we were coming, and they gathered in the living room. All eyes are on us, unreadable and hard.

Bram carefully gets to his feet, shame lining his features. My expression is cold and hard as I grab my boots and slip them on, wincing at my frozen toes. I use the discomfort and pain to remind me of my mission, and it isn’t so I can play mates with the likes of them—no matter how hot they are. “We should leave now if we want to get there as quickly as possible.” Running my eyes across them, I harden my resolve. “We should break the bond soon.”

Not because of what I saw, but because I am terrified of what they might see in me.

I head back out, leaving them to their plans and thoughts. I am not one of them and never will be. We will break the bond and kill each other. Whoever is left will get their life back. I need to remember that, even though the bond is strengthening inside me.

Despite the early hour, when we finally get moving, the village below is bustling with people, and I find Flora waiting at the entrance as if she knew when we would come. Knowing her, she probably did.

I feel the men draw closer behind me, another thing irritating me on this beautiful fucking morning, but I ignore them and smile softly at Flora. “Thank you for the hospitality. It was appreciated.”

“I saw the fun you had above our border this morning. Are you okay?” She eyes me worriedly, so I pat her hand.

“Never better. I’m not that easy to kill.”

She chuckles, covering my hand and infusing warmth into my skin. I feel it stoke my fire until I fully wake from the cold, including my frozen feet. “I do not doubt that, brightling.” When she glances behind me, her smile doesn’t wane at all. “Lost boys, it was nice to see you again, and remember what I said. When something is broken, it cannot be fixed. You know that better than most, so figure out if that thing might be what you are searching for.”

“You call them lost boys? Why?” I ask despite my clear intention to ignore them as best as I can and not get too close.

“Because they are lost, of course. They are always searching for that missing piece, poor souls.” Leaning in, she drops her voice. “You might have more in common with them than you think if you can see past your rage.” She pats my hand again.

I pull it free and nod, turning to leave. I sling the bag of essentials I found waiting for me down here over my shoulder. None of it belongs to me, but then again, I don’t have any possessions anymore. That kind of stuff was stripped from me all those years ago.

“Be careful, brightling, and remember that the blood that flows through you flows through her. You are just as strong as her, maybe more so. I told her that once, and I think that is why she was so angry, because she knew it too. Use it against her and survive.” She combs her hands through my hair, and more flowers appear. “My offer stands. If you need a home one day, there is always one here.” She steps back, her gaze faraway. “Though, I believe you will find your own.”

Ignoring the cryptic words, I wave goodbye and follow the lost boys to their vehicle. At the door, I climb into the back without a word and close my eyes, studiously ignoring them.

I hear them plotting the best route out loud, which is surprising since they usually speak internally, but I don’t offer my opinions. We will get there either way, and men like them prefer to be in control. We finally start to move and I stretch out, one arm thrown over my face to shield it from the sun, which, although beautiful, is blinding to someone who has lived in darkness, but the warmth burns through the windows and into my skin. It feels like being home in Gehenna again.

I don’t know when I started thinking of it that way, but I suppose if you live somewhere long enough, you put down roots, even if it is hell.

“I’m sorry,” Bram whispers sometime later, shocking me from the relaxed doze I was in. Lazily opening my eyes, I meet his ashamed gaze before he drops it to the seat he’s picking at as he leans through the gap. “When my memories take me by surprise like that, my animal side takes over. It wasn’t personal. It sees everyone as a threat. I’ve almost killed them more times than I can count.” His eyes are hazy with tears. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. It’s not your fault.”

The shame in his eyes is my undoing, despite my best intentions.

“You should never apologise for what you cannot control, especially if it is the fury the monsters of this world created in you,” I respond.

“Haven’t you heard? We are the monsters,” he jokes dryly.

“And how do you become a monster?” I arch a brow. “You are forced to become one, created in another monster’s image. Whatever happened, own it. It’s who you are, and don’t ever fucking apologise for it.”

“Many would argue we were monsters before,” he murmurs.

“They are fucking idiots. What you were born as does not make you a monster. Look at other races. Humans have serial killers. It’s not about what you are, but who you are that makes you evil and monstrous.”