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“No,” Kitt snaps, and Raiden and Bram look between us, still eating.

“Fine, then I’ll stay with Torrin,” I grumble, turning to walk his way.

“Never.” Kitt’s violence wraps around me, and I spin, fire burning inside me.

“You don’t trust me to stay with Torrin or go with Emrys. Make up your mind,” I snarl at Kitt.

“We don’t have time for this,” Raiden says, and we follow his gaze to see Emrys twitching, his hands jerking at his sides. “We need to feed him now. Both of you can go with him. We’ll stay here.”

I give them no other choice. I want some fresh air, so I stride to the balcony and descend the steps, walking towards the forest. Moments later, I feel them behind me. Emrys doesn’t speak, almost as if he cannot, his teeth grinding and hands jerking involuntarily at his sides. Kitt watches him carefully before scanning the horizon.

“Do not think we are weak right now,” Kitt warns as he stomps to my side.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“It would be my duty to end him if he went feral. I will not let that happen today.” He moves ahead, and I roll my eyes. We only trek for fifteen minutes before we hear gunshots. Birds take flight, and I tilt my head, listening.

“That way,” I murmur, following my heightened hearing. I lead the way for five minutes before Emrys moves past me, snarling. When I manage to catch up to him, he has a man on the ground, who’s screaming below him as Emrys’s teeth rip into his throat. A gun lies forgotten at his side, as do a few rabbits tied together. His eyes meet mine for a moment, begging for help as Emrys lifts his head and roars to the sky. Blood runs down his mouth and chin before he continues to work on the hunter’s flesh.

The hungry, satisfied noises coming from him should horrify me, but instead, I’m relieved—fucking mate bond. The man’s dying cries, however, do not even make me flinch. Leaving Emrys to feed, I briefly meet Kitt’s eyes before ignoring him and staring into the forest as Emrys slurps and chews on the silent man.

I keep my back to him as he feeds, protecting him while giving him privacy, knowing he will feel shame for this. Most ghouls do. They hate what they are, or so I was told.

“You don’t seem shocked,” Kitt mutters over the sounds, and despite his stern expression, his eyes reveal his concern. For Emrys or what this means? I don’t know, but it must be hard for Emrys to feel their thoughts about this at all times.

“I’ve seen much worse things in Gehenna than a ghoul eating to survive. Some do it for fun, and others play with their food before they rip them apart piece by piece and eat them alive for no other reason than they can. You forget that I have been to hell. Anything you can do would never shock me.”

He lapses into silence. “It wasn’t so bad before. He was fed on a tray, and he didn’t need to hunt. I did this to him.” He glances behind them, and I frown at his words. “It’s my fault that he has to do this, something he hates. He’ll feel guilty for weeks after, wondering who the person was. Were they good? Did they deserve it?” Sighing wearily, he turns back and watches me before realising he was talking to me and stiffening, stepping away.

That information raises more questions about these men. First of all, who is the collector, and why is he after them? The way Emrys was talking makes it seem like they were somewhere else before, somewhere they were cared for, so why did they leave?

Who are these men?

I suppose I will never truly know. Besides, it’s not important in the long run. Either way, they will have to die. It might make things easier not to know more about them.

We stand in silence until the noises stop, and my legs go numb from the lack of movement. Eventually, Emrys walks up behind us. I don’t glance back, but I feel him approaching.

When he passes me, he doesn’t look at me. His mouth is stained crimson, his eyes are downcast, and shame and anger are etched in his features. “I’m done.”

I don’t know what provokes me to speak. I wish I could blame the bond, but it’s more than that. I recognise him right now. He reminds me of . . . me.

“You do what you must to survive,” I call, and he freezes with his back to me. “There is never shame in that. Anyone who tells you differently has never had to face that choice. You are a ghoul, Emrys. Embrace it.”

Suddenly, he stands in front of me, his bloodstained hand on my throat. “And what would you know about the cost of existing? Do you have to feed on humans to survive? Do you worry you will fall into the darkness and hunger and never wake up, all while knowing your body would still be here, hunting those closest to you, and they would feel the aching chasm of where you were but still see you? Do you even fathom what we have lost?”

“I know loss.” The response is pulled from deep within me, and my hand lowers towards my stomach before I drop it. “More than you can ever imagine.” For a moment, I let him see the truth in my eyes before I shield it. “If anyone finds him, they’ll think it was an animal attack. Come on, we better get back.”

I don’t glance at his kill. I simply head towards the lodge, and they follow, lost in their own woes.

Aren’t we all just so fucked up?

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

She surprised me. I expected her to be revolted and horrified, but instead, she showed understanding and kindness.

When we make it back to the lodge, the others are waiting. Torrin is still resting, but I check on his mind before wandering past their shrouded eyes.