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I swallow the now tasteless bite of vegetables. “You mean no more ocean? Thank the gods,” I joke, and they relax. None of us want to talk about what that means. We all know what will happen, but like me, the mate bond is making it harder to imagine and even harder to talk about.

“What did you eat in Gehenna?” Raiden asks curiously.

“At first, I starved a lot. I ate bugs, rogue animals, anything I could get my hands on. I was sick often, and my body was not used to it. After a few years, I hunted with Spike and the others and ate if I had to. That was before I found froken.”

“Froken?” Kitt asks then seems to hate that he spoke.

“Hmm, I don’t know if that’s the actual name. Spike said it was an ancient plant. Great food source, but it lacks any protein. It kept me alive, though, and I added other things when needed. Luckily, phoenixes are adaptable. A lot of creatures starved down there because they were unable to do what it took to survive. Still, this food is only marginally better.”

“Hey,” Bram protests. “I cooked this.” I wink, and he smiles at me, blushing.

“You ate people?” Kitt asks.

I refuse to cower or be ashamed. “I ate the dead. I never killed them. Flesh is flesh, especially if they were animals. It’s no different than that lamb you are eating.” He drops his eyes first, not me. “I had things to live for, like my revenge, my bab—I had to eat, no matter what I wanted. After the first few times, I got over the horror.”

“No wonder you didn’t blink at me.” Emrys huffs, but he seems relieved. “Did you do anything for fun down there, or was it all murder and survival?”

“Eh, I played rocks with Spike sometimes. There was even a pair of mermaid brothers who would put on shows occasionally. It wasn’t all bad.”

“You sound wistful,” Raiden murmurs. “You miss them?”

“We weren’t exactly friends, but being down there together connects you in a way I can’t explain. Some of them are better there, since they wouldn’t be good up here to the population or themselves. They deserve it, but they are still friends.” I shrug as I take more bites while they process my words.

“What was the worst or best creature you met?” Bram asks, leaning forward.

Chuckling, I suck my fork clean, and he watches the movement before swallowing. I ignore it as best as I can so Kitt doesn’t start trying to murder me again. “The most legendary was probably Dracula.”

“The Dracula?” Raiden exclaims.

“Eh, who the stories were based on. He was just a very old sangui who was powerful and had some great stories, right up until he pissed off Spike, who ate him.” Their horror makes me laugh.

“What’s the wildest monster you hunted in your jobs?”

Kitt cuts them a look, but Raiden leans forward with a smirk. “There was this slug shifter. Have you ever seen them? A nasty son of a bitch. He kidnapped someone’s kid and was holding them hostage, trying to make little slug shifter babies.” He shudders in revulsion. “I couldn’t get the slime off me for days.”

Grinning, I shake my head. Surprisingly, we talk for hours, never about anything serious like our past or futures, just jokes and stories. Despite Kitt’s anger, he joins in. When I retire to my cabin that night, I can’t stop smiling.

Maybe I’m not the dangerous one. Perhaps they are.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-ONE

Iwake with a gasp, fear coursing through my veins as I struggle from the sheets, trying to figure out what happened until memories slide back into my head.

The feelings of hands on my skin, of being torn apart and sewed together, of them cutting pieces off me and forcing me to perform flood back to me, and I realise it wasn’t my dream.

It was Emrys’s nightmare.

Something screams inside me even as the boat rocks. The storm must have hit while I slept. I stumble from my cabin and up the stairs. The sound of rain lashing the metal is loud as I fight to open the door, the wind trying to slam it shut in my hands. I hold the metal with a death grip, struggling to see through the rain as it pours down on the rolling boat. Waves hit the side and sweep up and over the deck, and then I see the silent figure moving through the storm like he doesn’t even notice it.

He’s focused on something far away. His hat and guns are gone, and his wet clothes are stuck to his body as he slowly shuffles to the railing, grabs it, and swings up and over.

“Emrys!” I shout, but I still feel the clinging nightmare. He’s not seeing the storm, the boat, or me. He’s back there, and he’s trying to get away. Terror rips at my chest as I step out into the storm. My hair and clothes are drenched, and I shiver as I run through the turbulent weather, slipping on the slick deck. When a wave comes up and pushes him back, also knocking me to my ass, I choke on the salty water. Struggling to my knees, I watch him get up and calmly grab the railing, still trying to get away in the nightmare he’s locked within.

“Emrys!” I bellow, but the storm swallows it whole. Lightning cracks across the sky as more waves wash over the deck, causing us to tip and turn.

He’s going over. I can see it. Unlike me, he won’t be reborn. He’ll sink and die, washed away like he never existed. I lunge to my feet and grab the back of his shirt, but my hands slip, and he goes over the edge. I grab the railing and his hand in one swift movement. He dangles above the water reaching up to consume him, angry and boiling as I cling to both.