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“Oh, I can try to break it again,” I begin, knowing they do not wish to be linked to another, like the collector forced on them.

“No,” Torrin rumbles. “You won’t. We asked him to try and keep it.”

“I was wrong,” Kitt whispers, his eyes filled with tears as he smiles at me. “You’re worth it. We were just too blinded by hatred to see it, but we see clearly now. We want this bond, and we want you.”

I look at Bram and Raiden, my own feelings complicated. “You all feel this way?”

“Can you not feel it? I thought you were so powerful,” Raiden teases, but he winks.

“Focus and listen, little beastie,” Bram instructs.

Closing my eyes, I trust them to watch my back as I focus on the bond I ignored since coming back to life, but they are right. It’s right there, and when I look at it, it bursts to life in my head.

This entire time, they were trying to find a way to keep it. They chose me, even over death. They had a plan and didn’t tell me.

Assholes.

The friendship, care, and love I feel has me opening my eyes. I am unable to speak, but I don’t need to because when I looked into their minds, I let them in mine.

I feel them now.

There is no room for shame or secrets. We are simply one.

Is this what it is like for you all the time with each other? I don’t even realise it’s not spoken out loud.

Yes, and now you’re part of that.

There’s darkness there, and I follow it, turning to find Emrys. Where his voice should be is only a growing red haze.

“Emrys?” I say out loud, watching him worriedly. He’s gripping the armrest of the throne for dear life, his head hanging down, but at my voice, it snaps up, his eyes glowing so brightly, it blinds me.

“Oh gods, he’s feral,” I whisper. We were so lost in what we were doing, we did not see him fall over the edge. This isn’t like before. He’s completely gone. He’s not just dancing around madness. He is the madness. “Emrys, look at me.”

“Ferol, come here.” Raiden tugs me back, but Emrys snarls so we freeze.

We are going to have to put him down. Kitt’s voice is distraught. No ghoul comes back from this.

“We are not killing him!” I roar as I hold out my hand. “Emrys, come back to me. I need you.”

I cannot lose him. I can’t.

I know this has been his and their greatest fear, and here we are because of me. It’s my duty to bring him back. I will not lose anyone else.

His hands shake on the throne, and I hear the arm actually break under his strength as his head jerks from side to side, his nostrils flaring. There is nothing left of him in his eyes, just a hungry animal hunting for prey, and I won’t let that be anyone else because it will mean his death.

“Eyes on me!” I yell, and he swings his eyes around as I step away from Raiden. “Come on, baby, give me your worst.”

With a growl worthy of the best predators, he pushes off the chair and leaps at me.

I slam back into the icy water puddled on the floor as his claws dig into my sides, tearing through flesh to my organs, but I relax through the agony, reaching up to cup his face, even as my hands shake. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

Do not come near us. If you hurt him, I’ll hurt you back, I warn the others. I can feel their hesitation and need to protect their mate, but he’s one of them, one of the hive.

“Shh, I’m right here. Come back to me.” Uncaring about his snapping teeth, I lean up and kiss him. He freezes above me, a constant, low growl escaping his throat, but he’s not actively tearing me apart now. “Remember me? Your mate? I need you. Come back to me.”

Surely if this mate bond is good for anything, it’s this.

“Emrys, come back to me,” I beg against his lips as I kiss him again. When I lean back, his eyes are still red, but he’s blinking. Is that a good sign?