Page 102
“That sounds like two different answers, Dana. That’s the problem, I don’t know what you want. I’m getting mixed messages. And listen, I realize you’ve been through a shitload of stuff recently and I know it’s taken its toll on you, but if there’s any way you could narrow down that answer for me, it would be helpful.”
Clarity. He wants clarity and, frankly, so do I.
Taking in a deep breath, I try to give him an answer as best I can.
“I haven’t changed my mind about my feelings,” I start with. “But I wasn’t sure whether you felt the same, and then when Julia mentioned—”
The moment I mention his sister, he stiffens.
“I fucking knew she messed with your head,” he interrupts angrily. “What the hell did she say to you?”
I put a hand on his chest, hoping to calm him down.
“She was just concerned and looking out for you. She actually brought up an issue I hadn’t really considered.”
His response is thick with sarcasm. “Oh yeah? And what might that be?”
I force myself to stay calm as I weigh my next words, wringing my hands.
“She was afraid we might have different expectations and was trying to shield us from unnecessary hurt and disappointment.”
I’m suddenly lifted off his lap and deposited on the couch. Then he surges to his feet and pulls his phone from his pocket, stalking into the empty living room as he stabs at the screen.
“Julia?…Yeah. What the actual hell did you say to Dana?…Yes, you fucking did and you know it.…No, she’s too busy defending your ass, so I’m asking you.… That’s right.”
He keeps his eyes on his feet as he paces back and forth between the living and dining room, but I can feel barely restrained anger coming off him in waves.
Suddenly he stops and fixes his eyes on me across the room.
“You said what? Who the hell do you think you are, meddling into something she and I haven’t even had a chance to discuss because people keep fucking dying around her? I don’t give a flying fuck you love me. I love her, I want a future with her, and I don’t need my big sister butting her nose into business that is just hers and mine.”
Oh my.
I’ve come to my feet during his angry rant, my eyes still locked with his, as my heart hammers in my chest.
“You can try and justify it any way you like, but you’d still be outta line. Now, aside from all we’ve got going on here, I have to also try and fix the damage you’ve done.”
He turns his eyes away and walks to the front window, his phone still pressed against his ear.
“Love you too, but I’m still fucking furious with you, and I’ll call when I’m good and ready.”
He shoves his phone in his pocket and starts moving to the front door, where he shoves his feet in his boots and grabs his coat.
“Rick?”
He looks back at me over his shoulder.
“We need firewood,” he rumbles as he pulls open the door and steps outside.
When I move to the window, I notice at some point in the past half hour or so since I got home, it started snowing.
I watch as Rick bypasses the stacked firewood on the far side of the porch and heads straight for the barn, where he disappears inside. A few moments later he walks out, the axe slung over his shoulder as he moves to the stump we use to cut wood on.
His side of the conversation with his sister plays through my mind on repeat, as I watch him spend the next ten minutes taking out his anger on a pile of logs, turning them into firewood. When I see him stacking an armful of logs and start walking this way, I move away from the window and head for the kitchen, where I put on a kettle in favor of the half-finished stir-fry still sitting on the stove. I’m not that hungry anymore, but I could really use something warm and soothing.
I busy myself getting the makings of hot chocolate together, as Rick comes inside. I hear him dump the wood in the bin by the stove, before his footsteps come closer.
“Sorry, I needed a moment.”