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Ash (Sunday, December 25, 2022 – 8:02 a.m.): It’s impossible. I don’t know :(
Ash (8:05 a.m.): Every time I see Bri smile, it’s like that. There’s this feeling of joy, and I can’t deny it, because seeing her like that all happy and carefree is so beautiful. But I see my sister too. Every time Bri smiles, I see Ashlynn. *She* was happy and carefree and beautiful. And now she’s gone and never coming back, and I’ll never get to see her again or hear her voice or feel her hug me. And I have to live with that. I have to live with that all the time, knowing nothing will ever make it go away, and somehow I have to keep going
Ash (8:09 a.m.): Sorry
Ash (8:09 a.m.): Merry Christmas? =P
Chapter Forty
Cass
The fire Cass had started in the fireplace finally banished the early morning chill by the time he and his parents settled in the living room to exchange gifts. There wasn’t much under the tree this year; Cass had struggled to make every dollar stretch to its fullest, though he was ultimately happy with the gifts he’d picked out for his parents.
They did as they always did and took turns opening the small items in their stockings. In addition to the usual pair of socks, a toothbrush, a couple of candy bars, and a tube of Chapstick, Cass’s stocking also had a deck of cards and a set of several bookmarks. His dad’s stocking had a new pair of reading glasses as well as his obligatory annual “joke” gift: a huge sixty-four-ounce bottle of Heinz ketchup, which barely fit stuffed in with the rest of the gifts. Cass’s mom’s stocking was a bit different this year, since she’d specifically asked only for essentials.
After they finished with their stockings, Cass passed out the rest of the gifts, and they took turns opening those. His mother loved the gift he’d bought her—a beautiful, soft olive-green scarf and matching gloves—and his father also appreciated the new work boots Cass had picked out for him. Cass hadn’t asked for much—a few books and a new pair of tennis shoes—and that was what he got.
After everything had been opened, Cass took a minute to clean up the wrapping paper trash. Then he prepared three cups of hot chocolate and brought the drinks out to the living room, along with three slices of the quiche he’d made. He served both of his parents, setting up a small TV tray for his mom to make it easier for her to eat, and then he settled on the carpet on the opposite side of the coffee table with his own food and drink.
Just like Thanksgiving dinner, the Christmas morning quiche was another holiday meal tradition he’d taken upon himself to continue since his mom was unable to cook it. Both of his parents seemed quite grateful, and his mom in particular noted several times how good it was. When they finished eating, Cass started to get up so he could load the dishwasher before they had to leave to drive to his uncle’s in Stockton. However, his dad stopped him by clearing his throat.
“I have one more gift here,” he said, and he leaned forward and pulled a thick red-and-white-striped envelope out of the drawer under the coffee table. With a soft smile, his dad settled back into his seat on the couch and gently handed the card to his mom. “For you, dear.”
She shook her head. “What is this?”
His dad shrugged with another smile, and Cass leaned back on his hands and watched as his mom slowly fumbled with the envelope. Inside was a card stuffed with several folded papers. She opened the card and the papers, and her eyes narrowed slightly as she read whatever was on them. Then she closed her eyes and smiled, her head tilted slightly.
“Oh, Robert, this is . . .” She trailed off but let her good hand settle on top of the papers.
“What is it, ma?” Cass asked, curious.
“A trip,” she said simply, and she glanced back over at Cass’s dad. He shifted closer, slipped his arm up around her shoulders, and then leaned in and kissed her temple.
“A trip?” Cass repeated.
His dad nodded. “To San Francisco in April.”
Cass’s eyebrows arched, and he sat up a little taller.
“It’s been a long time since we’ve traveled at all,” his mom said wistfully. “Oh, are you sure, Robert?”
“I already got the time off, booked the hotel, everything,” his dad explained, his voice low and soft. He kissed her again and then added, “I’ll tell you all about it on the way to Dan’s.”
The way his mom’s smile lit up was beautiful, and Cass let out a breath and then dropped his gaze. There was a quiet laugh, followed by a pause and then a hushed whisper.
Cass was about to stand and get started working on the dishes so they’d be ready to leave on time, but his dad cleared his throat again.
“That would be a good time for you to go visit your boyfriend in Seattle, wouldn’t it, Caspian?”
Cass’s eyes widened, and he looked up. Both of his parents were watching him, his mom still smiling softly and his dad’s expression almost teasing. He opened his mouth to speak, but the only words that came out were “Uh, huh? What?”
His mom’s smile deepened, and his dad laughed.
“You should go to Seattle while we’re gone in San Francisco,” his mom said.
With a nod, his dad added, “Makes sense, right?”
Cass swallowed hard as his brain finally caught up. For a fleeting second, his heart soared at the possibility. Then, reality crashed back down, and he lowered his eyes and frowned. “I’d love to do that,” he admitted, “but I’m not sure if I can. The money, you know? The flight isn’t cheap, and I don’t really have—”
