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Cass laughed lightly. “Just tell me where the pillows and stuff are, and I’ll make up my bed here. You can— What?”
Ash had lifted his eyes and was frowning. He shook his head. “You want to sleep out here?”
“Well, I figured that was the plan,” Cass admitted. “Am I wrong?”
Ash didn’t answer right away. Instead, he collapsed back into Cass, his head resting right in the middle of Cass’s chest. Cass dropped a kiss into his hair.
“What are you thinking?” he asked quietly.
Ash set his hand on Cass’s thigh, then pushed himself up and lifted his chin. He smiled lazily, obviously sleepy. “I’m thinking we should have already talked about this, and I feel a little guilty that we didn’t.” Ash stood, slipping his hand into Cass’s, and he tugged gently. “Come to bed with me.”
The words sent a rush of warmth to Cass’s chest, and he let Ash pull him up off the couch before wrapping his arms around Ash’s waist. “Are you sure?”
“Well, as long as you don’t snore too loudly. You’ll wake Bri, and that would be bad.”
Cass laughed. “I don’t think I snore.”
“Good, then it’s settled,” Ash said matter-of-factly. He laughed lightly, but then looked down, his smile falling. “I’m sorry, we really should have talked about this earlier. I trust you, and I trust you with Bri. And I want you there with me tonight. I want you to hold me.”
“I want that too,” Cass murmured. He brought his hand up and touched Ash’s cheek, and he felt as Ash smiled under his palm. “God, I love that.” The words escaped his lips before he could stop them, and Ash immediately lifted his eyes.
“What? You love what?”
There was a depth and emotion to Ash’s expression that Cass couldn’t fully interpret, but he wasn’t about to deny anything, either, so he leaned in, kissed Ash’s lips softly, and said, “I love when you smile like that.”
Ash dropped his chin again, and his cheeks turned pink. He didn’t say anything in response, though Cass was quite sure Ash was feeling a lot of things then. He slipped his hand back into Ash’s and gave it a squeeze.
“Mind if I take a quick shower?” he asked.
“Oh, right, yeah. Let me just brush my teeth real quick, then the bathroom is all yours?” When Cass nodded, Ash added, “And just be quiet when you come in, since Bri’s sleeping. You really, really don’t want to wake her in the middle of the night.”
“Understood,” Cass said, grinning.
They kissed once more, and then Ash headed down the hallway toward the bathroom while Cass gathered his duffle bag from its spot near the front door and took a moment to check his text messages. He only had two, both sent hours ago from his dad and both good news.
Dad (9:09 p.m.): Your mom just fell asleep. She’s having a great time so far. She ate a good dinner and seems very happy
Dad (9:10 p.m.): I know you’re worrying, so just wanted to keep you updated. Love you
He had been worrying off and on, though he’d kept himself distracted enough most of the evening. Still, he was glad his dad’s messages continued to be positive. It was much too late to message back tonight, so he told himself he’d do it in the morning, or maybe even take a few minutes then to call and talk to his mom.
About a half hour later, he tiptoed into the dark bedroom, closing the door behind him. Enough moonlight peeked in through the shutters that he could see the outline of Ash’s bed pushed up against the far wall and Bri’s crib off to the left. Ash was curled up on his side, his head resting lightly on his pillow and the comforter pulled partway up his shoulders. His breathing was slow and rhythmical, as though he was already asleep, and for the shortest moment, Cass felt like he was intruding.
He’d never shared a bed with anyone before, at least not since sleepovers at his friends’ houses when he was a young child, and until Ash had invited him, he’d been sure his sleeping accommodation for the weekend was the living room couch. Not because he thought they weren’t ready for this level of intimacy—god, no, if anything, Cass was craving this more than he wanted to admit—but because of how much trust Ash was showing in him, letting him in this space that wasn’t just Ash’s bedroom. His niece slept here too.
Cass silently padded over to the right side of the bed, set his phone down on the nightstand, and then stood there for another moment, gazing at his boyfriend.
Ash was indeed asleep, his lips parted slightly and his chest rising and falling with a clear, slow rhythm. Even in his sleep, he was beautiful.
Carefully, trying not to wake him, Cass lifted the comforter and crawled underneath, settling on “his” side of the queen-size bed. He lay on his back for a moment, as still as possible, and he closed his eyes. The warmth of Ash’s body next to him felt familiar and yet not, like everything they’d done together the whole afternoon and evening, and in an instant, all he wanted was to gather Ash up in his arms and hold him, be as close as possible, surrounded by all that warmth and all the joy and contentment of knowing they were finally together again.
“I want you to hold me.”
Ash’s words replayed in his head, and he could still hear all the emotion and need in his boyfriend’s voice. His heart thrumming in his chest, Cass turned slowly onto his side, and he scooted over, inch by inch, until his body framed Ash’s. Ash let out a quiet hum and snuggled back into Cass.
“Mmm, you’re warm,” Ash mumbled sleepily.
Cass dropped a soft kiss on Ash’s shoulder, then slipped his arm around Ash’s midsection and held him close. Ash sighed contentedly.