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“And yet it didn't.” I looked around. “Maybe Heartbreak is different. Or maybe you've misunderstood the nature of a Curse.”
The entire chamber seemed to hold its breath.
“Look at your analogy, for instance. It's incorrect. Fire isn't a force of nature. It's an element. There are four forces of nature—gravity, electromagnetism, strong nuclear force, and weak nuclear force. Those are forces that draw things together, bind them together, and destroy them. But here's the thing about those forces; they're incomplete. The standard model of physics can't explain 95% of the universe, which is made of dark matter and dark energy. That's why scientists search for a fifth force of nature.”
“What the fuck is she talking about?” Bart muttered.
“Shh!” Tanvi hissed.
I ignored them and held Seraphel's widening gaze. “But I think you're right about Curses being a force of nature. They're part of the fifth force, the inexpiable force that even you, the vessels of Curses, don't understand. They're more than just drawing, binding, or destroying energy. They're beyond comprehension, a force of their own, and as such, I don't think our rules apply to Curses. As for Heartbreak, the emotion it brings is what's left behind when love is torn away. It hurts because it's an emptiness that longs to be filled. Love is completeness. But does completeness destroy emptiness or vice versa? I think not. Yesterday, I saw what Heartbreak can do. It doesn't destroy love. If anything, it opens a heart to love, makes room for it. It is the hard path to happiness. Sure, there are easier paths to take, but none are so fulfilling. So Heartbreak is not fire, consuming or destroyed by its opposite. Heartbreak is the knife that cuts out the rot so the wound can heal. And love is what heals the wound. But love also creates wounds and leaves them to rot. You see? Neither is a curse nor a blessing. Love creates heartbreak and heartbreak circles back to love. They are two parts of a whole, movements around a circle. Yin and yang. Forces of nature. Love and Heartbreak balance each other.”
“Balance what has no weight,” Tristan whispered.
“Exactly.” I smiled at him.
Bart stared at me before letting out a rough bark of laughter. “So, I need a someone who’s always sober?”
Tanvi shot Bart a look of annoyance. “Your condition is a physical consequence of poor judgment, Bartholomew. Do not equate your self-inflicted misery with a foundational human tragedy. I don't even know why Hangover is a Curse.”
“You've obviously never been hung over.”
I snorted a laugh.
“I'm just saying,” Bart went on, “if the girl's right, every Curse in the world is just waiting for its counterpart. And mine sounds bloody exhausting. It would be like falling in love with you.” He stuck his tongue out at Tanvi.
“Silence.” Seraphel rose from his chair, his tall, imposing figure dominating the space. As he came around the table, his dark eyes fixed on me. “Balance.” He considered it. “We Divine Curses understand the importance of equilibrium. Sodom and Gomorrah fell because the balance tipped entirely toward corruption. Destruction was inevitable. If they could have found balance, not a complete reversal, mind you, but balance, God wouldn't have rained brimstone upon them.”
“You believe her theory is valid?” Cassian asked.
“I don't know about all her metaphors or the notion of Curses being part of a fifth force of nature.” Seraphel stopped before Tristan and stared at his sigil. “But perhaps a Curse can be balanced within a vessel to provide its vessel relief. Perhaps even the Curse could find relief from its nature. If Heartbreak is seeking what Destiny provides, straining through its very sigil.” He motioned at the sigil. “We can only assume the Curse desires balance.”
“Do you think we could continue like this without conducting a Severing?” Tristan asked.
Seraphel shook his head. “I don't believe that's sustainable. The fact that Heartbreak drew you to her and compelled a physical union tells me it needs more. However, I believe the Severing won't hurt Destiny as much as we assumed.”
“Not as much?” Tristan glanced at me.
“We have no precedent for this. I can't tell you for certain how much she'll suffer. All I can say is that I believe it will be less traumatic for her than it's been for others.”
Heartbreak wasn't just tolerating me. It wanted me. It should have frightened me, but it didn't. All I felt was hope. I might be able to help Tristan without suffering too much myself. After what I'd felt from Heartbreak, I was almost certain I wouldn't suffer at all.
“For centuries, I looked at the Severing as an execution.” Tristan turned to face me. “I thought asking someone to take half of Heartbreak inside them was a form of murder. But when the pain stopped yesterday, I started to hope that maybe you could do more than share my suffering, you could stop it. Do you honestly think it could be like that for us?”
“Yes, but even if I'm wrong, and we have a normal Severing, we could still be happy. I can handle the pain, and it will only be half of what you've learned to live with. But this is our choice. I shouldn't have suggested we do the Severing just to stop Fabian. I don't want us to make this decision out of fear. We do this on our terms.”
Tristan took my hands and leaned his forehead against mine. “Our terms.”
Behind us, Tanvi cleared her throat. “I believe we have the solution to the Fabian issue.”
Tristan lifted his head, and we looked at her.
“Tell Fabian about this.” She motioned to us. “He thinks he's offering you the only choice. Tell him you've found another. If he truly cares about you, he will want you to be happy.”
Bart snorted. “That's asking a lot for an undead witch sociopath.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tanvi told Tristan to think about it, and we returned to our guest suite in silence. I turned on the light and my gaze was immediately drawn to the bedside table. The disposable phone Fabian had given Tristan sat there like a poisonous insect. Shoulders rigid and gaze determined, Tristan stomped over to it.
