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He smirks at me. “Aww, lovey. You know I will always make time for you.” He purses his lips like a kiss. I throw a sugar packet at him. “She’s babysitting,” he says. “Her neighbors have some meeting tonight and asked her to help out.”

I nod. “That’s cool.”

After the server comes back with our drinks, she takes our food order, collects our menus, and heads back to the kitchen, and Ryan leans in, setting his elbows on the table.

“So, how’s work going?” he asks.

I roll my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “Ugh, I texted you to meet here because I’m struggling. I have this one account that needs so much, and it’s just not happening. I do eight hundred things, and I’m not happy with any of them. They want these two images to sort of blend into one, but I can’t get the colors to work, and it just looks stupid.” I show him my phone where I have some of the proofs and raw drawings. “It’s like I have it in my head what I want to put down, but when I try out stuff, nothing looks right.”

“Let’s see.”

Ryan bounces a few ideas off of me, and I consider them but still can’t conceptualize how I’ll get the images to come together like I know the client wants. Before I get more frustrated with it, I put my phone away and change the subject.

“Enough about my work. How’s yours going?”

Ryan throws his head back and groans loudly. “It’s so boooooring, Dare.”

I chuckle. “Sucks, man. I wish you could break free from that.”

“Yeah, me too. Never gonna happen.” His face is forlorn, but he waves it off and changes the subject again, talking a little bit louder over the clanging of the dishes as a busser cleans and resets the booth behind us, along with another table diagonal from us. Ryan goes on about something with Katie for a bit, and we sip our drinks. It’s nice.

A few minutes later, the server brings our food. “You boys let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Once she leaves, we dive in. I take a big bite of my burger just as a group of four is led into the room and to the newly cleaned table across the row. The food gets caught in my throat when I recognize them. It’s the Richardson family. All four of them. My eyes are immediately drawn to Mr. Richardson as he squeezes his wife’s hand and places a kiss on her knuckles when he passes her a menu. He holds onto her hand as they scoot closer, shoulder to shoulder, and read the menu together.

I take a drink of my water to quell my coughing.

“Dude! You okay?” Ryan is half laughing but has a look of concern on his face. He turns to see what has me all worked up.

Lindsey Richardson spots us and gives a wave, then puts her hand on her brother’s arm and whispers to him. Ryan turns back to me at the same time that Lev swivels his head around toward us. Those beautiful crystal-blue eyes meet mine, and all the air leaves my lungs. Lev smiles and gives me a nod, and the room gets fuzzy. I lift a hand in a wave, which I realize must look so stupid, and Lev quickly looks away.

Ryan narrows his eyes at me.

“What?” I snap.

He laughs and shakes his head. “Lev, huh?”

“Lev, huh?” I mimic him, adding more of a gruff sound to my voice. “Lev nothing.” I bite down on a french fry and look over at the table again, to Lev’s face as he looks at the server, telling her his order or something. Our eyes meet again, and he immediately looks back to the woman taking his order.

Lindsey says something to Lev and pushes his upper arm, smirking at him. He returns the gesture by messing up her hair, and she smacks his hand away.

Mrs. Richardson is smiling at them.

Their relationship is just so . . . easy. God, I miss that touch. I miss wrestling and pushing and playing around with Nate.

With a sudden swell of nausea, I realize I’ve lost my appetite. I toss my napkin on top of my plate.

“Seriously, Dare,” Ryan says, a little more quietly, his eyes bouncing between me and the Richardsons. “What’s this all about?”

And I can’t answer him because I don’t know. What is this all about? Why am I feeling overwhelmingly jealous about a family having dinner together? Why does watching them play around with each other make my eyes sting? Why am I all starstruck and stupid when it comes to this man whom I haven’t seen or talked to in six years? The ease and comfort that they have with one another—I used to have that with my family. The teasing, touching, hugging. My parents used to hug and kiss and hold hands. I miss seeing them with each other, and I miss the normalcy. I miss it desperately. Hell, I miss just getting a hug whenever I needed one. I even miss wrestling with Nate.

The weight of everything pushes down on my chest again, and I suck in a breath, feeling all the emptiness and loneliness I’ve been struggling with for years now. I’ve tried to fill the void in so many ways—sex, drinking, smoking—but the feelings never quite go away. Even sitting here with Ryan having a normal conversation about normal things doesn’t stop me from needing something more.

And Lev . . . well, yeah, he’s hot. He’s fuck hot. But he was Nate’s friend, and outside of that, we were nothing.

I let out a sharp breath and fish for my wallet in my pocket. “I think I just need to go home and get some sleep,” I say to Ryan.

Ryan laughs. “Now I know you’re full of shit because you don’t sleep well!” He waves a french fry in my face like a finger. “Do you have a thing for him?”