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Our mom picks that moment to come around the corner, carrying a glass of iced tea, which she hands to me.

“Mom!” I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful to see our mom. “Come and talk.”

Mom glances between both of us, and Lindsey crosses her arms with a smirk, while I take a deep drink of my tea and sit back in my chair.

She’s wrong anyway. There’s nothing going on between me and Dare. I feel for him because his life is shit. I sort of owe it to him, right? Yeah, he’s hot and adorable and creative and probably like a million other things. And I feel incredibly guilty about how things went after we lost Nate, how I moved on and left him here. Clearly I did better leaving and starting over than he did staying here. I should have known better and made some different decisions.

Now that I’m back, I wonder if I could do anything to fix it. I feel like I’m trying. But Lindsey’s teasing voice is in my head, and I’m wondering if maybe there is actually something happening here.

When I head home after hanging out with my family, I try to fill the night with things that will get my mind off of the conversation with Lindsey. I change my sheets, do some laundry, wash the dishes, and get into bed to watch something. It’s not until partway through the TV show that I finally pull out my phone and send a text to Dare.

Me: I hope you had a good day and that you feel better.

I see the three dots move and stop. They start again and stop. My heart is beating faster than normal. The dots start again.

Lycan: I had a decent day. The food really helped yesterday. Thank you for doing that.

Me: You’re welcome. Busy week ahead?

I want to try to pull him into a conversation. I want to talk to him. For real. Even if Lindsey’s wrong, which she totally is, I can’t deny that I am drawn to Dare, whatever that means.

Lycan: Sort of? What about you?

Me: Nothing out of the ordinary but I have an early start at the garage tomorrow.

The dots move and stop. Move and stop. Move and, finally, another message comes through.

Lycan: Get some sleep. In that comfortable bed. And thanks for making sure I was okay. It was nice.

Smiling, I set my alarm and then put my phone down on the bedside table. I let my mind wander.

Would I be open to something with Dare?

There’s something about him that intrigues me, and it’s more than me just feeling guilty for leaving him behind. He’s a good-looking guy. He’s funny and talented. Maybe we could be something. But, of course, that would require him feeling the same way, and I have no idea whether we’re at all on the same page.

Curling up under the covers, I allow myself to indulge in some fantasies about what it would be like to be with Dare as a partner, a boyfriend. I fall asleep quickly with a dumb-ass grin on my face.

Chapter 14

Darian

We’d like to extend an offer to you to join us in a venture of advertising and promotion. We have noticed your work and would like to ask that you send us your portfolio and a mock-up of something related to our vision and goal.

The email from the PharmCon HR department goes on to explain timelines and expectations. If I land this project, it would be my biggest contract yet, both in terms of pay and status. Getting my name out into the industry and giving me recognition as the ad and marketing materials person for such a large company would be a huge step up in my career.

I vaguely know the company, so I do some searching on the web to get more information about them and what their vibe is. They are a multilayered business with pursuits in pharmaceutical sales, production and medical billing. The head of the company seems to be kind of inflexible, but office event pictures and photos of the staff seem to indicate the company overall has a rather chill vibe.

Ideas start floating around in my head, and I dive right in.

It’s probably several hours later when my stomach growls, pulling me away from my work. I glance down at the clock in the corner of my computer screen and see that it’s nearing dinner time. I save my work for the day and check my emails one last time before shutting down my computer and standing up to stretch. Then I head into the kitchen, take the rest of the food Lev left me out of the fridge, and put it in the microwave. It’s still just as good as it was when it was fresh, and I finish quickly.

Looking out through the windows as I do my dishes, I feel a familiar pull, and I hurry to stick my silverware in the dishwasher before heading outside for some fresh air. The weather tonight is very fall-like, a gentle breeze and a slight chill in the air. The leaves are changing, and the sky has a gray undertone that looks like rain. I walk through the backyard and across the field, and it’s not long before I come to my favorite place.

The lake. It’s not far from my house, and I go there a lot when I need to relax. Nate, Lev, and I used to jump off the dock and swim here when we were little. I have so many memories here, all of them good, and I refuse to let the grief of losing my brother cloud those memories. The lake is peaceful, and I really love coming here. Even now, even with all these memories and knowing what I lost, it’s always been somewhere that can quiet my mind and make me feel like myself again, no matter what’s going on in my life.

I spent so much time here after Nate died, too. I like to come and sit on the dock, watch the sunrise if I have had a night of little to no sleep or watch the sunset if I’ve had a stressful or morose day. The ripples in the water hold so many of my personal thoughts and secrets.

Tonight, the geese and ducks are out on the lake, floating and squawking at one another. A duck plunges his head under the water, and I chuckle as his ass points straight up into the air before he comes to the surface again. Sitting on one of the few docks around the lake, I take out a joint to have a smoke.