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He laughs. “I guess I am.”

“I’d love to,” I say, giving him a kiss on the cheek over the dimple that I just poked. “But . . . I told Ryan I would go with him, so if that’s okay, I’ll meet you there?”

“It’s a date.” He laughs and pulls me back to him. I shift to lie down so my head is in Lev’s lap, and he settles into the couch more deeply, letting his fingers thread through my hair. A comfortable sigh escapes my mouth, though my gut is still churning with anticipation and my heart is still warm. It’s the weirdest combination.

We watch the rest of whatever movie is on, then get ready to go to bed. Rather than sleep right away, we tangle ourselves together and make out for a while. We eventually settle in, our bodies against one another, my brain busy trying to process what’s happening.

I’m going on a date—an official date—with Lev. This man that I’ve had a crush on since I was a teenager. I’m currently in his bed, I had dinner with him, I just made out with him, and he’s holding me. This in itself seems like a date. But I’m going on an official date with him in a few days. This is all a dream come true for me.

But he was my brother’s best friend. Is it fair that we have each other when neither of us can have Nate? There’s a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach again, and my heart suddenly doesn’t feel warm and whole like it has all night. I’ve been ignoring this problem for a while, pretending it would just disappear, maybe. But here it is again.

“You’re thinking really loudly,” Lev says, as though he senses my tension. He kisses the top of my head. “What’s wrong?”

Neither of us move, but my eyes are open, staring into the dark.

“Nothing,” I say on a sigh. “I’m just . . . I think this is wild. I never thought I’d be in this situation.”

He kisses my head again, pulling me closer to him. “What situation?” he whispers.

“This. Lev, I used to pretend this was real when we were young. I wanted this so badly. I wanted you so badly. But come on. You were Nate’s best friend. You guys had the Pack, and you seemed so much older than I was. But you were so nice to me, and I thought you were so hot, even back then.” Lev chuckles into my hair, his breath warm. “I know, it sounds ridiculous,” I continue. “But it also seems to be too good right now, and I don’t know if I . . . if we . . . ” I trail off, not wanting to say what I’m thinking.

He kisses my head again, stroking his hand over my stomach. “We’re seeing what this is, Dare. We don’t have to label it right now. I like you. You like me. You’re in my bed, aren’t you? We’re not kids anymore. Let’s just see where it goes, okay? I like this . . . a lot.”

I release the breath that I was holding and close my eyes. I’m glad that it’s dark and he can’t see my face.

“Okay,” I say, letting him believe that all of my tension is because I’m nervous about us. But that’s the thing—I’m sure about this. I’m not nervous about seeing where this goes. Things have moved forward so well and perfectly with Lev so far, heading in the direction of a committed relationship, even though it’s only been a few short weeks since we ran into each other at the Exchange. Now we’re headed toward being boyfriends. This—this thing that we have—I’m so sure about it. It feels so good, almost perfect.

But what I’m not sure about is why I deserve it. Why should I have Lev, and why should he have me, when Nate can’t have either of us and we can’t have Nate?

Chapter 39

Darian

Ihave to admit that getting ready for the bonfire, I have butterflies in my stomach. Not only because I’m going with Lev, but because it’s the first real date I’ve been on in a few years. I’m not someone who traditionally dates. I’m more of a hook-up person. But tonight, I’m going on a date with Lev Richardson. I’ve only ever dreamed about this happening. I never thought that it would, but here we are. And he asked me out.

I take a deep breath and start to get dressed in what I’d normally wear to go out with friends. I don’t really do Halloween per se. I mean, I love the holiday and the decorations and the candy, but I don’t dress up. I do take a few minutes to embellish my look with some black nail polish, jewelry, and this sexy leather and chain harness that straps to my thigh, but that’s the extent of my “costume” for the night.

Exactly when he said he would be here, Ryan honks his horn to let me know he’s outside. I grab my wallet and phone just as a text comes through from him telling me to get my ass outside. My maroon beanie is by my bedroom door, so I grab it and put it on my head, then take one more glance at myself in the bathroom mirror before bounding down the stairs to meet Ryan and Katie in the driveway.

I climb in the back of the car, greeting both of them, and I throw my head back as I laugh. They are ridiculous. Ryan is dressed as Buddy the Elf, and Katie is dressed as Jovie. It’s our favorite Christmas movie. I can’t stop laughing as I settle in the back seat.

“Shut up, asshole,” Ryan says. “You’re lucky we didn’t make you get in on this.”

He has a smirk on his face, so I know he’s secretly loving it. Katie can’t stop giggling, and it’s contagious. By the time we get to the lake, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

The smoke from the bonfire is easily spotted, billowing upward from the edge of the lake. Everyone is talking, and music is playing from the dock. My eyes search the grounds, and I look for Lev, twisting the skull ring on my finger.

It takes a moment before I spot him across the park, sitting in a circle with the guys from the Wolf Pack. He sees me at the same time, and our eyes lock. My stomach flips in a weird mix of joy and guilt. Lev stands and says something to his friends before he turns and heads toward me. My heart is racing, and my palms are sweaty. He gives me a smile, and that dimple makes my knees weak.

“Hey,” I say, breathing out and giving him a smile back.

He steps toward me. “Hey yourself.” As he leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek, he whispers, “You look amazing, little lycan.”

Goose bumps erupt down my neck as his breath meets my ear. I kiss his cheek back, and we pull away. I look him up and down and realize who he’s dressed up as.

Squeezing his arm, I say, “Hottie lumberjack.” I give him a wink and wiggle my eyebrows at him.

He blushes and then slides his hand down my arm and links his fingers through mine. I can’t breathe.