Page 28

Tomas is quiet for a moment. Then: "Does he know? That you feel the same?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

I look at the canal. The Monday morning light, flat and clean. A cyclist crosses the bridge. Then another.

"Eventually," I say.

Tomas smiles, the genuine one. "Good."

He stays until noon, longer than he planned and exactly right, and when he leaves he hugs me in the hallway in the way of someone who wanted to say something more and decided the hug was sufficient.

I stand in the hallway after the door closes.

Then I go to the sofa and I open Instagram on my phone and I wait.

At half past twelve a notification arrives.

patricksutton posted a reel.

I press play.

He is in the bedroom, our bedroom, I recognise the light, the wall behind him. Plain shirt, phone propped up, no ring light, nothing performative. Three minutes. A little more. He looks like himself. He looks, if anything, like the version of himself he is when it's just us — open, direct, unhurried.

He looks at the camera for a moment before he speaks. Just a beat. And then:

Hey. So. I've been sitting with this for a couple of days and I want to be honest with you about something, because I think that's the only way to do this.

I was surprised. Not that people noticed, I understand how this works. But I make videos about flying. About aircraft and routes and what it feels like to be up there at four in the morning with the Pacific below you. That's the thing I wanted to share, and I've been genuinely grateful that some of you found it worth watching. Somewhere along the way, though, it stopped being just about flying. And when your personal life changes, people who have been watching feel something about that. I understand it now. I just wasn't prepared for it.

What I'm not okay with is people I care about being dragged into comment sections and having things said about them that aren't true. That's the part I need to address. Because the community I want to hav… the one I think most of you actually are… is not that.

First… Maya. Maya and I ended our engagement earlier this year. That was a mutual decision, it was the right one, and it happened before anything else I'm going to talk about. She has handled a very difficult situation with more grace than I deserved and I want to be clear that the narrative some people have been building online is wrong. She is not a victim of this story. She is a person who made a brave and honest decision and I have enormous respect for her.

He pauses. Looks at the camera.

Second. I'm with someone. His name is Jan. He is… he’s remarkable and I am very lucky and I wanted you to know that's the situation because some of you have been saying things about him that are not only inaccurate but unkind to someone who genuinely did nothing to deserve it. He's a private person and I'm not going to tell his story. I'm just going to tell you that he exists and that I'm happy and that I'd appreciate it if you extended him the same basic respect you'd extend anyone.

Another pause.

I know some of you will have feelings about this. I know it's not what you expected. I didn't entirely expect it myself. The corner of his mouth goes. Life does that sometimes. Goes somewhere you didn't plan and turns out to be exactly right.

Some of you have asked about my sexuality. I'm bisexual. That's the word that fits and I'm comfortable saying it. What I'm not comfortable with is the idea that anyone is entitled to demand that answer from someone else. Straight people are rarely expected to make an announcement about their sexuality. People who aren't straight shouldn't be forced to either. What matters is who you're with, whether you're honest, and whether you're happy.

I'm happy. That's what I want you to know.

I'm still going to make videos about Boeing and Airbus and approach procedures. That hasn't changed.

Thanks for watching.

He reaches forward and the video ends.

I sit with the phone in my hands.

The comments are already moving. I don't read them. I put the phone face down on the cushion.

He said remarkable.