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They already spend far more time apart than either of them likes, despite the fact that I try to schedule things so that the absences are short or we’re doing jobs together. The problem with that is that we’re already a big team with a wide and varied skill set, so the need for an extra team is usually rare unless we’re doing a job like the Hunt one.
We’ll have Raid’s team as our immediate backup for that job because we trust them the most. If Elijah and the guys are up for it, then we’ll have them as backup too, but they aren’t necessary, and I would really rather that they rest and take it easy while they still can.
In fact, I think I might insist on it.
It’s only going to be a two, maybe three-day thing, if that.
Although the job that Elijah and the guys are on was supposed to be a quick job, it’s turned into a massive undercover operation. It’s a prime example of things not going to plan despite the amount of forethought and planning that I put in.
I know that these things happen, and I know that I can’t control everything no matter how hard I try. I just hate to let my family down, and I feel like the fact that they're now leaving for such a long time has definitely let them down.
Especially Pete.
It will all be okay because I will ensure that it is. It’s what I do, and Cash will help me. He always has. Although he took a step back for a little bit a few years ago, he is well and truly back in as a second for me.
Honestly, I couldn’t deal with half of the things that I deal with if I didn’t have him to take over when needed and to share the load.
We talked about whether he wanted to be in charge, quite extensively, but he has absolutely no interest in taking over completely. In his words, he is not level-headed enough.
I know what he’s referring to, we all do. He is far too hard on himself, but there’s no point in me telling him that because he won’t stop.
I do anyway.
Just like he tells me when I’ve let my fears start to overtake me again. He calls me on it and pulls me back down to earth, and quite frankly, I love him for it.
Having support makes everything easier.
He is well aware of what Elijah talking to Mr. R could mean. Which weirdly helps.
A worry shared is a worry halved and all that.
Case in point, his eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror, and he raises an eyebrow at me, his way of silently asking if I’m okay and checking in with me.
I incline my head slightly, my standard I’m alright response, and raise my eyebrow to ask the same question. He pauses and then frowns, his head tilting in an almost imperceptible kind of way. It's not a no, but it’s also not a yes.
I need to check in with him properly when we get back to the house and double-check that he is okay.
Hopefully I’ve got enough time. I need to talk to Mr. R and let him know that we aren’t going to be involved anymore.
There never seems to be enough damn time. I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in weeks, and it's starting to make me a little twitchy now. I always get a little restless when I haven’t been able to do some drawing or painting. I technically had time when we were at home before we came here, but it wasn’t enough. I need hours of uninterrupted painting time. I admit that might not be possible, and I will have to settle for getting whatever I can done to stop the twitchiness.
When we get back to the little shack, I signal to Cash that I want to talk to him, and he hangs back while the others head inside.
“What’s up?” I ask immediately, watching his expressions closely since they usually tell me more than his words do.
Cash shrugs. “I don’t really know. I can’t put my finger on it. I just feel a little bit off.”
“Like you’re coming down with something?” I asked with a concerned frown.
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. I think it might be jet lag, I’m really fucking tired.”
“Fair enough. Are you sure that there’s nothing else on your mind?” I ask, feeling the need to double-check.
He smiles. “Yeah, I’m sure. I promise I’ll tell you if that changes.”
I nod, “Alright. Let’s get inside, get something to eat, and head to bed then.”
He grins, “Rafe’s going to cook up a storm.”