Page 24

She nodded, her eyes downcast.

Forcing a smile, I slung an arm around her shoulders. “Well, you’ll always have me to help whenever and wherever I can.”

She sighed, glancing up at me. “You’re a lifesaver, Tris. Seriously.”

I grinned, meaning it this time as I stepped back. “I’m here for as long as you need me.”

“‘Thank you’ doesn’t begin to cover it, Tristan. But thank you.” Natasha smiled kindly for a moment before her eyes shot wide. “Oh! Speaking of . . . We could really use your help with the Halloween party. It’s a whole thing. You weren’t here for it last year, were you?”

I shook my head. “No, I started just afterward. But it was still being talked about at Christmas—I do remember that.”

She sighed and pushed away from the counter. “It’s super fun for the residents. And the staff, to be honest. It’s a lot of work, but just seeing all the residents in their amazing costumes and having so much fun is worth it.”

I grinned, following her to the door. “Then I’m here. Just tell me when and where to be, and I’ll help.”

Abruptly, she turned and pulled me into another hug. “Oh, that would be amazing! I was so stressed about having to do it all myself.”

I squeezed her before letting my arms drop, then we continued down the hall. “No stress, Tash. I’ve got you. And hey, that’s still a month away—we’ve got time!”

She grinned as she stepped onto the elevator to head down to her office. I followed her into the car. “Not as much time as you’d think.”

I smiled, but a sudden jolt and flickering lights had my stomach dropping. I gasped, clutching onto the handrail bolted to the wall. Natasha turned white as she stared at me, her eyes wide. “Oh god,” she muttered. “I hate small spaces. Tris, what do we do?”

I wasn’t the best under pressure; in truth, I usually freaked out. And I was, but one of us had to keep a cool head. “Uh, I’m not sure . . .”

Okay, I did not have a cool head. I did not have a cool anything. In fact, it felt like someone had turned up the heat.

My heart started racing. I may have been sweating. Breathing wasn’t exactly easy. Oh god. What the hell were we gonna do?

I felt like my life would start flashing before my eyes. But instead of seeing snippets of my memories, I saw one thing clearly in my mind: Henry’s eyes.

Instantly, my brain replayed this past Tuesday night, the night of the last DASC meeting, at lightning speed. I’d felt someone watching me the whole time, but not uncomfortably—no, the realization had warmed my chest and my face as much as it had thrilled me to my core.

And then I’d noticed it was Henry looking at me.

Since I’d known him, his eyes would catch mine from time to time, and our gazes would lock across the room. I’d never been able to decipher the color of his irises, but the man’s iron stare fixed me in place every time.

But this week, something was different. A switch had flipped inside me, and that gaze that used to mean nothing had started to mean everything. His eyes on mine made me feel like I was falling into a deep abyss of the sweetest, most decadent feeling of care and importance, and I wanted to drown in him.

I gasped again, probably scaring Natasha, but I seriously had no chill. Because I realized that right now, in this moment of panic, instead of thinking about the man who wanted to be my online Daddy, MrFox43—the man who’d consumed my thoughts for the past month and a half—I’d thought of Henry.

Maybe that moment on Tuesday was more consequential than I’d thought.

Wanting to ignore the panic of being stuck in this tiny elevator—which still wasn’t moving—I followed my thoughts down their logical path, infinitely grateful for the distraction of analyzing things to death.

Since that fated scene with Behemoth nearly six weeks ago and my short conversation with MrFox, I’d avoided messaging him. Weirdly, it hurt my heart a bit every time I thought of the man who’d commanded my body over a goddamn chat, and my conscience pricked with the reminder that he deserved better than me ghosting him. To add insult to injury, he’d stopped coming to my lives altogether, probably thinking I wanted nothing to do with him. Which was completely untrue.

I wanted a Daddy, and MrFox was offering. If I could just give in, message him, I might be able to have the very thing I’d always wondered if I deserved. But I knew that a relationship with him could lead to falling in love, which could be problematic for so many reasons—the least of which being he could live anywhere in the world.

But I knew the real reason I’d been hesitating. If I was being honest with myself, I was terrified that I’d put myself out there and he’d reject me. Or maybe he’d get to know me then realize I wasn’t enough for him. He probably already figured out I wasn’t worth it since I hadn’t even bothered to message him back. Why would he want a hot mess like me, anyway?

But for all my thoughts of my potential online Daddy, both now and since that momentous live, Henry was the one I wanted—no, needed—to see again.

What felt like hours but was probably less than a minute later, the car jolted and started back up, quickly depositing us onto the main floor. We both scrambled onto the faux cobblestone to catch our breath. I’d never been more ecstatic to hear the whirring of an elevator’s motor.

“Damn, that was scary,” Natasha mused as we hurried to her office a few doors down. Thankfully, her color was returning.

“Yeah,” I replied, breathless. I couldn’t really say much else—the panic-thoughts that’d taken over my brain when we were trapped had my head spinning out of control.