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He reached for a glass set on the nightstand, but he nearly fumbled it. There seemed to be something on his hands. When he held the glass out to her, the light played over the bandages wrapped over his palms and fingers.
She would have asked, but she held back her questions long enough to take the glass and sip the water.
Merrik helped her hold the glass steady and, when she pushed the glass away, he set it back on the nightstand. As he did so, another bandage taped across his cheek came into sight.
She motioned to him, though her hand still felt strangely heavy. “What happened? Your face, your hands…”
His gaze dropped away from her, and he stared at his bandaged hands for a long moment. Then his shoulders rose and fell in a deep breath before he looked up, meeting her gaze. “I approached a Laesornysh while her magic was fully unleashed.”
A twisting filled her chest, aching and sickening. Her magic had done that to him. She’d unleashed so much of it that she hadn’t been able to prevent it from hurting him.
“I am fine,” he rushed to add, as if to slice through whatever thoughts were whirling through her head. “The healers are just waiting for the magic to dissipate, then the burns will heal just fine.”
That still didn’t make it okay. Her magic had hurt him. She’d hurt him.
With that realization pounding through her, her words came out harsher, angrier, than she’d meant. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“I had to.” He took her hand again in both of his bandaged ones. “And I would do it all over again without any regret. I had to pull you back from the brink, as I promised.”
She’d been so consumed by her own magic. When her dacha had gathered up all the unleashed Laesornysh magic and slammed it into the ground, creating a new Wall along the border once more, she hadn’t been able to snap back into her body. She’d given so much of her magic—so much of herself—that she hadn’t been sure there had been anything left.
Until those strong arms had held her, and Merrik’s voice—so distant and yet so insistent—had called her back.
Still, she wasn’t going to let him off that easily. She gathered her strength and gave him a light shove on the shoulder. “Don’t do it again.”
“I cannot promise that.” He still held her gaze with that far too somber look in his eyes. As if he was pledging to sacrifice his very body and soul for her.
Since she was too exhausted for deep emotions right now, she gave him another light shove. “Don’t be foolish. You’re supposed to be the sensible one in this relationship.”
“Maybe I am prepared to be reckless right alongside you.” A hint of a smile broke through his otherwise somber expression.
As if. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. He might toss caution to the wind when pressed, but it wasn’t his natural state any more than taking the time for contemplation was hers.
And that was all right. They not only balanced each other out but also encouraged the other to take steps outside their own preferences.
“Thank you for pulling me back. For keeping your promise.” She couldn’t manage a smile as she traced the bandage on his cheek. The memory of his arms around her stirred a longing in her for that same reassuring strength now. “Merrik?”
“Hmm?” He brushed a strand of her hair from her face.
“Hold me.” She couldn’t help the way her voice came out small.
He stood, releasing her hand long enough to round the end of the bed. He settled onto the bed beside her, and she sat up, so tired that she all but fell against him as he gathered her in his arms. He leaned his back against the headboard as she tucked herself into his arms with a sigh.
A part of her was still far away, still blurry with the haze of those moments of losing herself to her magic. She needed him to hold her as she gathered herself back together.
After several moments, she murmured into his shirt, “Is the war truly over?”
“Yes.” His breath stirred her hair. “We have not received official word yet, but how could it be anything else but over after that display?”
Those words should have been comforting. She should have been relieved at the thought of the war ending.
Instead, a sinking feeling like a yawning emptiness hollowed out her chest. Life would return to how it was before. She’d probably go back to working at the AMPC with the rest of her family. She’d spend her days always holding back, always using her magic in tiny, controlled amounts, and never truly being whole.
“What happens now?” She hoped her voice was too soft for him to hear the empty, discouraged note in it.
“Now…” His arms tightened around her. “Now we get married. Sooner rather than later.”
She leaned into his touch. “That sounds like a good plan to me. But I suppose we will have to wait until the army gives us enough leave. Whenever that will be.”