Page 134

For a moment, I swore they rounded with shock and confusion and something more. Something he wasn’t saying. I couldn’t decipher the look he gave, but my stomach dipped. Whatever this was between us, I refused to let it go. I couldn’t.

God, I shouldn’t have said anything.

I should have just kept my mouth shut, and now my hands shook. His expression softened as he invaded my space, only this time, I wanted him to. Spiced cologne and the lingering scent of sweat clouded the air, clinging to his glistening chest. He hooked his finger beneath my chin, which was quivering.

I was a fucking mess, and I hated it.

“If I left with you,” he said softly, “Ronan would drag me back and sever the contract. I’d love to bring you with me, but I can’t. I’m not allowed to bring anyone—not you or Naomi. Not even Axell. It’s only for a few months.”

Shame and rage pricked my skin.

Not because of Manic, but because of the position Ronan had put him in. He would never be free from this life. Had Manic simply accepted it? That thought alone annoyed me.

Yet fear accompanied my annoyance. I was too terrified to leave the penthouse, because I knew by the visceral twisting of my stomach that I wouldn’t be safe in the throes of my father. Alone.

“I already agreed to Ronan’s terms, which was to release you to your parents for my freedom, however long that is. Whether it was to Dmitri or not, this was always the plan. You cannot come with me.”

Of course. It was always about his freedom, wasn’t it? But he never had a real option for it, and neither did I. In some way or another, we’d always be controlled by those who ruled the system. We were trapped.

I let out a humorless laugh. “Is it really freedom if you’re just going to come back? Re-negotiate.”

“I can’t.”

I curled my lip. “And why not?”

“That’s a copy,” he whispered.

He glanced at the counter as his thumb swiped over my chin, dread curling over my shoulders. A genuine apology settled in his voice.

“Amelia picked up the original an hour ago. It’s done. I’ll leave, then come back to take over the Crimson Crowes.”

“Then at least let me stay at the penthouse,” I blurted. “Just until you get back. I’ll wait.”

My lungs constricted, my eyes blowing wide at the suggestion. If he was set on coming back, then I would wait, regardless of how long it took. My entire body knew it. My soul fucking knew it. Even if that meant staying in Vancouver.

I tensed, waiting for him to say something. Anything. Heat crawled up my neck in the drawn out silence, my pulse thundering harder as embarrassment flooded my system. Humiliation. His face softened, though his brows pinched as if he were struggling to get the words out.

Then I saw it—understood what he was refusing to tell me.

I darted back a few steps, losing the touch of his fingers, and he gritted his teeth. Damp, sweaty hair fell into his eyes as he studied me with a deliberate head tilt.

Whatever hope I had fizzled out, replaced with defeat and heartache and a slap of realization. I let out a disbelieving exhale, shaking my head as more tears welled in my eyes.

Manic wasn’t coming back.

I saw it in his expression.

The moment he left Vancouver, he wouldn’t return, and I’d be stuck here with whatever freedom the mafia allowed. Meaning I wouldn’t be leaving at all. I’d be a prisoner with my parents, owned by the mafia. But this was Manic’s only way out. He was going to drop me off and disappear without a backward glance. Our argument meant nothing, because Manic had already made up his mind. He’d already signed those papers.

There was no winning, was there?

Staring at him now, with my heart full and empty all at once, this felt like a goodbye. I was a fool for falling for the one man who couldn’t return it. He was incapable. And I’d trusted him to take care of Dmitri. Was this what he meant?

Manic might have claimed me as his, but we made no promises to each other along those lines. He’d promised to deal with Dmitri, not that he would keep me because his freedom was more important. It was always more important than me.

I forced back the tears threatening to fall.

If this was what Manic wanted, I would give it to him without a fight. Regardless of how I felt, I wanted him to be free, and if that meant letting him go…