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“Why not? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?”

Manic groaned quietly, his shallow breaths speeding up. “Because you won’t like the outcome.”

I took advantage of the moment and rubbed his length. He immediately gave in and closed his eyes with another sharp inhale.

Just what I needed.

Within the span of a single second, I drove my knee into his thigh and lunged for the gun. That wasn’t where I was aiming my knee but⁠—

He hissed and twisted to the side.

Cold steel grazed my fingertips, but he growled and snapped out a hand. He gripped my throat and squeezed until I was choking for air. His lips curved into a menacing smile, his mouth coasting over mine.

“I love a good fight,” he breathed, “but you just made a big mistake.”

“Fuck you,” I rasped.

“Are you going to show me what you’re made of?” His mouth twitched, his stare absolutely furious. “Come on, Sutton, I know you have a little more in you. I’ve been waiting for it since the night we met.”

My eyes watered and I clawed at my neck, writhing until my vision blurred. His grip didn’t loosen. We scuffled as I fought and kicked and scraped my nails over his arm. He hardly even moved. Finally, an opening arose, and I released a strained growl and drove my knee into his groin.

He released me with a pained grunt.

Stars flooded my vision as I sucked in air, blinking hard. Manic clutched himself, groaning and bent over the edge of the bed.

I bolted for the door.

I barely grazed the handle before being yanked back by my hair. I screamed, my scalp burning under his grip as I was forcefully dragged to his chest. My back slammed into him.

Manic laughed quietly against my cheek.

“Little Hale,” he crooned, his breath fanning my skin as he curled around me. “I’ve killed and kidnapped more people than your little brain could probably comprehend. Don’t bother screaming for help; no one is going to step in. Axell and Vince answer to me.” I could almost feel his cynical smile on my skin. “Do you really want to know why I was given the job?”

“I don’t actually care,” I snapped, and then winced as his hand tightened in my hair. His other arm secured my waist, tight enough to feel his hard cock pressed against my ass as he pulled me closer.

Of course fighting would arouse him.

Despite my fear, I gritted my teeth at the urge to roll my hips.

“Mm, I’ll tell you anyway.” His hand snaked over my breasts until it settled at my throat. “I have no remorse. My father chooses me for these tasks because I don’t feel anything, not even when I shoot someone between the eyes. I’ll tell you what I do feel, though.”

My breaths sped up, my chest frantically rising.

“Pain and pleasure,” he whispered, his throaty laugh hitting my jaw. “And you happened to give me both in the span of a few seconds. Tell me, what do you feel right this second?”

I whimpered and blinked at the ceiling, fighting the tears blurring my vision. Morning light skimmed over the walls, and for a moment, my entire life danced before me. My parents, Amelia, and my college friends. Parties and one night stands, most of which I regretted the next day.

All too normal, and dare I say utterly boring.

There was no thrill or fear for my life—not like now. Yet I’d always wondered what it would be like in the middle of something so daring. I’d settled for watching movies, reading books, or searching for my own adrenaline high in the form of caffeine and late night library break-ins.

But really, I just wanted to feel alive.

My admirer was the closest thing I’d ever gotten to danger, and I had loved every minute of it. It was why I never told anyone. He made me feel alive and observed. Less alone. And, in some sick way, he saw the real me, not what I chose to show people. Was my admirer wondering where I was? Could he see me, right now?

Manic tugged my hair, waiting for my answer before he slowly loosened his grip. Still, my heart pounded so violently against my ribs, I thought it would burst free.

“Fear,” I said quietly.