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I shove it off immediately.
He huffs a short, incredulous laugh. “Jesus Christ. Back to that already?”
I don’t answer. I just turn toward the window, heart still racing, face on fire.
Okay. I got a little carried away. That’s all it was. People have moments of weakness. It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything.
I swallow hard. “Just so we’re clear…that was a one-time thing. I was upset about tonight. That’s it. I don’t…like you or anything.”
Drew is quiet for half a second, then lets out a low, amused chuckle. “You don’t like me,” he repeats, sounding like he’s barely holding back laughter. “Right. That’s why you ripped your panties off and rode me like you were trying to break my dick on the side of the freeway.” He shakes his head, still grinning. “Whatever you need to tell yourself, baby.”
He pauses, then adds more seriously, “But yeah…we should probably keep this between us.”
“Obviously,” I mutter, crossing my arms tight over my chest and staring out at the blur of passing lights.
This won’t happen again.
It was just a stupid, impulsive mistake. A momentary lapse in judgment after a truly terrible night. I’m better than this.
I have to be.
10
GRACE
Early the next morning, I post an update in the GirlTalk Unfiltered forum.
Okay, so I took your advice and tried to pursue someone more…appropriate.
He was hosting a wellness event (don’t ask) and
I made a genuine effort. It was a disaster. He was incredibly dull and embarrassed me in front of an entire room of people.
Afterwards, I may have had a slight lapse in judgment and spent time with the other man again. The thing is…afterwards he held me and it felt like nothing in the world could touch me. It was unbelievably good. He’s also, objectively, very capable, which is not helping my resolve.
To be clear: I am not interested in anything serious with him. That would be completely inappropriate for several reasons (professional, social, class, etc.). He is simply not a long-term option.
I’m sure what I’m feeling is just temporary vulnerability due to recent events.
I would appreciate advice on how to proceed
while actually maintaining boundaries this time.
Help.
Replies start coming in almost immediately.
@user4821: is this for real???
@chaosandwine: Babe. “I don’t like him” but you’re sleeping with him the second you get the chance?? The math is not mathing.
@candidlyhonest: “capable” - just say he’s good in bed, we’re all adults here.
@lawyeredup: The only actual problem here is that he works for your family. Everything else sounds like you’re talking yourself out of something.
@practicalprincess: And if you’re going to end things with this guy, do it properly. No mixed signals. That’s not fair on him.
Not fair on him?
