Page 65

I cross my arms and lean against the doorframe, crossing one foot over the other. I want her to think I’m not affected at all by her presence. “A minute,” I respond. “Maybe two.”

She finally looks up and she closes her book. She shifts her shoulders a bit and winces, like she’s been sitting on the floor for a while now. How the hell did I miss her when I first went looking for her?

But that thought escapes me as her eyes travel over my face. I have not shaved or slept. I know how I look right now and she definitely sees it as her dark eyes narrow, her lips pursing.

“Did you want something?” she asks a bit rudely.

The truth is right on the tip of my tongue. Yes, Russo is closing in and Seraphina is coming tonight. One of my most trusted men was tortured and killed because Russo has figured out that Dino was involved in the taking of Seraphina. I had to tell his pregnant wife he was dead and I can still hear her screams. It’s been killing me that you’ve been avoiding me and⁠—

“No,” I hear myself say, deciding at the last moment that it’s best if I don’t tell her anything. “No. Nothing.”

Her dark eyebrows raise and it’s obvious she doesn’t believe me. From the look on her face, she’s having an internal war as to whether she should demand an answer from me. I don’t know what I would say if she tries to.

Finally, Katerina exhales and a strand of her hair flies up from the force of her breath. She sets her book aside and brings her knees up to her chest. I expect her to tell me to leave.

To my surprise, she doesn’t. Instead, her posture relaxes and it looks like she’s almost…welcoming me in? Heart in my throat, I push away from the door and walk in slowly, keeping my eyes on her.

She doesn’t break her gaze as I sit down on the floor next to her with my back against the same shelf.

Even though my body is screaming to be close to her, I refuse it. I keep an arm’s length of distance between us for her comfort.

Neither of us says anything for a while.

The library at this hour smells comforting, like old paper and the smell of a crackling fire. A log settles in the grate somewhere near us. I can hear her breathing beside me.

“You look tired,” she finally says, her voice quiet.

I shrug. “Yeah.”

Her eyes cut to mine. “Are you sleeping?”

“No.”

She nods as if she understands. “Since when?”

I open my mouth to give her the easy answer, but I decide not to lie. I can lie to her about the big things but it seems that I can’t lie about the small ones.

“A while,” I tell her, and she seems to understand exactly what I mean because she nods jerkily. Thankfully, she doesn’t press.

We sit there again in silence and it’s not all together unpleasant.

I honestly don’t remember the last time I have just sat somewhere with another person with no ulterior plans.

No planning or calculating or thinking three moves ahead. There’s nothing to do. Nothing to solve.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” I tell her, hoping I can startle her into giving me a truthful answer.

But my Katerina is better than that. Nikolai and Maksim have taught her better than that. She shrugs and picks at her sleeve. “Yeah.”

“For good reason?”

“Yeah.”

“I understand.” Because I do.

“Good.” She fidgets slightly before she exhales again and pivots to look at me. “Just so we’re clear, sitting on the floor next to you does not mean I am not still avoiding you.”

I fight a laugh, but it comes out as a snort. “Understood.”