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I turned in his arms. “Why?”
“I’m like an out-of-control teenager again. It’s agonizing to go slow when I’ve wanted this so long, and you’re right here.”
My ribs constricted, squeezing my heart. How was I supposed to respond to this wonderful man saying he wanted me when he didn’t know the heavy price tag I came with?
Tell him!
He let out a slow breath. “But that’s what I’ll do because I think that’s what you need.”
Was it possible that he kept getting more perfect? His body was still hard and wanting, yet he had zero expectations. Here he was, giving me what he thought I needed—time—a luxury he didn’t realize we had in very short supply. It was only a matter of time before his father’s disapproval and threats came between us.
How long did I have with him? Weeks? Days? Did I want to spend it second-guessing instead of seizing him while I had him?
Of one thing I was absolutely certain: if I was going to sleep with him, he needed to know the full truth, and I wasn’t ready for it yet. Not to mention the fact that he was still technically my boss.
“I’m not sure what I need,” I whispered.
He kissed me again, long and luxurious, stirring another fire low in my belly. “Think about it.”
“Okay,” I whispered, allowing myself a moment to catch my breath. “So, what now?”
He hummed. “Now we go back out there.”
Um…
Go back out there? Just like that? Without knowing how I was supposed to behave moving forward. “But— What— This —What is—”
He cupped my neck, his thumb drawing a line over my jaw. “I’ve made it pretty clear what I want, Honeycutt, but I’m not in any rush. What happens next is up to you.”
He set the ball squarely in my court, but this didn’t feel like a choice. It felt like a nail poised in the crook of my glass heart. Each step closer to him was another tap against the head of the nail. Eventually, fissures would form, and pieces would break away.
This could break me.
He could break me.
I swallowed against a rising ache in my throat. “Me?”
His light-filled eyes danced over my face. Could he see the doubts and pain spreading through my nervous system like poison? A small smile lifted his mouth. “How about this? Every year, my mother hosts a holiday ball the Saturday after Thanksgiving at the estate.”
That was in two weeks.
“Okay?”
“Be my date?”
Surprise flittered through me, and he dipped to steal another quick kiss. His father would have a conniption if I showed up to the Shepherd estate for a family party on Cam’s arm, but right then, the worry seemed far away. If I was going to be heartbroken at the end of this, I might as well enjoy myself beforehand. I’d deal with the fallout when the time came.
So I kissed him, lingering several moments longer than I should have. “Okay.”
He smiled against my mouth.
My hair was ruined, so I untangled all the pins Ivy had painstakingly placed, and used a few to artfully tuck some strands away from my face. The curls were wilder than they should have been, but hopefully no one would notice.
Cam straightened himself up, then ducked out to make sure the way was clear for us to leave.
Nessa and Ivy sat at our table when we returned, the former scooping delicate bites of a mini cheesecake into her mouth while the latter nursed a New Old Fashioned. Ivy raised an eyebrow at Cam as he sat beside his mother. He ignored her, signaling a nearby server for drinks.
“Hi!” I said too brightly, settling beside Ivy.
