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“That boy loves you,” she whispered, reaching for the bracelet box. “I don’t see no sense in breaking his heart for nothin’.”
“It’s not for nothing,” I said. “It’s for him.”
“But he said—”
My voice grew sharp. “I heard him. He loves me. I know he loves me. This love is a raging fire, but when he throws his whole life into it and the fire consumes it all, there will be nothing left but cold, smoldering ash. I don’t want to start a relationship by taking everything he’s ever loved.”
She said nothing, but her hands worked the little clasp on the box, and she flipped it open. Inside lay a champagne diamond tennis bracelet in the pattern of a honeycomb. I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart fractured even more.
“I really love him,” I whispered.
“I know,” she said. “That’s why it hurts so much.”
Fifty-Two
After a fitful night of sleep, I woke the next morning looking like hell and attempted to put myself to rights. My puffy eyes barely responded to Maribel’s fancy creams, so I did something I rarely did. I went makeup-less.
Glasses on, hair in a messy bun atop my head, I took casual Friday to its limit.
Why was he making me do this? Was it just to torture me? If I didn’t possess a visceral hatred of breaking rules, I’d throw the world the middle finger and stay in bed all day.
I arrived at the office on time and nearly broke down in tears halfway to my desk when I spotted the coffee sitting in its usual spot.
Why?
Why couldn’t he be mean? Ignore me? Give me a Booboo-level silent treatment?
Instead, I was treated to a flat white. I didn’t deserve a flat white. I deserved to suffer through this day caffeine-less and miserable. I propped my elbows on my desk and dropped my face into my hands, wishing for a sinkhole to open and swallow me whole. What if Shep showed up? What if he wanted an explanation for my continued presence in these hallowed halls?
“Good morning, Honeycutt.” Cam’s voice stroked down my spine like warm silk, and goosebumps rose across my entire body.
I lifted my head, replacing my glasses so I could see him. He stood not three feet away, disturbingly handsome. My heart lurched and reached for him, seeking to be whole once more.
“Shepherd,” I whispered.
“I was thinking about our discussion yesterday.”
I straightened. “Yeah?”
He stepped toward me, moving close enough that I could delineate the traces of exhaustion at the edge of his bare expression. “Mm-hmm. I even spoke with my father about it.”
My mouth fell open. “You did?”
“We had a very enlightening conversation.”
Some strange noise emerged from my mouth, something between a groan and a whimper.
Another step closer, and hints of his cologne reached my nose, filtering into my bloodstream, igniting it. “I just thought you should know,” he said in a low voice, “I know what I want. He knows what I want. And I don’t plan to make this easy for you.”
Speechless, skin on fire, I could only stare as he retreated to his office, shutting the door behind him. I looked at Helen. She rolled her eyes, but I detected a trace of affection before she went back to work.
Luckily, a distraction came in the form of Ivy, who dragged me from my desk under the guise of “I need help with the Christmas decorations.”
In silence, I pulled cheap glitter decor from cardboard boxes stored in a closet on the far side of the office, all while rehearsing a speech for Nessa in my head. How did one break up with the mother of an ex-boyfriend?
Ivy chattered about this and that—a new green juice recipe she planned to try, the service she hired to string her Christmas lights that sent the hottest man alive. I nodded and hummed, but contributed very little. Together, we tugged out Henley’s fake Douglas fir. It came in four pieces, and she had to unfold the stepladder for me to fit the top. I took my time unbending the branches, ignoring the scrape of plastic needles that seemed just as sharp as the real thing. Ivy continued her one-sided conversation while she did the same to the lower branches.
Once I finished, I descended the ladder and narrowed my eyes. “Why aren’t you asking me what’s wrong?”
