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Ravenna.
“Sleep beside them?”
Ravenna.
“Let them think they’re living one life while you’re somewhere helping create another one behind their back?”
My mind kept going to what Caleb did to Ravenna because of me.
I pulled my hand just enough to adjust the blanket. I needed him to stop touching me because suddenly his hands felt like something I didn’t deserve.
Nash didn’t notice.
“I started questioning everything. Was I not enough? Was I not paying attention? Was I working too much? Did I stop dating my wife? Did I miss something?”
My eyes burned.
“And eventually I had to realize that whatever was wrong in our marriage, she had a responsibility to tell me before she involved someone else.”
I nodded slowly because he was right.
“That wasn’t mine to carry.”
I looked away because I’d said almost the same thing to Caleb. Whatever happened in his marriage because of his choices wasn’t mine to carry. Funny how wisdom sounded different depending on which side of the betrayal you were standing on.
Nash sighed. “But I don’t hate her.”
I looked at him. “Really?”
“No.” He shook his head. “She’s my son’s mother.”
He smiled slightly. “And she’s not some terrible fucking person because she did a terrible thing.”
That was good to hear.
“But I couldn’t stay married to her.”
My chest tightened. “Because of the affair?”
“Because I didn’t trust her with me anymore. I could’ve probably eventually trusted her not to cheat.”
He shrugged. “But I didn’t trust her with my feelings, my dignity, or my vulnerability because when she had the opportunity to protect those things, she chose herself.”
I looked toward the muted television. The wife was crying and the husband was following her through the house. I couldn’t hear them, but I knew that story. I knew it from the wrong side.
“You okay?”
I looked at Nash. “Yeah.”
“You got quiet.”
“Just listening.”
“You judging me?”
“For leaving?”
“Yeah.”