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“I’ve tried,” she said. “And I’m grateful for your help.”
“My help was nothing.” He shrugged. “Managing the land is a bloody bore.”
“Is it that bad?” She knew that Henry was unhappy, but perhaps she had underestimated how unhappy.
“It is,” he said. “It’s all about moving a fence here or planning a drain there, felling a tree, and seeing to someone’s thatch.”
“Surely, on board ship you faced similar tasks. Don’t ships need repairs too?”
“They do,” he said. “But it’s not the same on a ship. On a ship, we were always ready for action. What action is there on a farm? Nothing moves on a farm. You have no idea what it’s like when the sails fill and your ship goes flying on.”
“You miss it. I’m sorry, and I’m grateful you’ve stayed to help.”
“Graymont helps me, you know. So you see, I can’t dislike him. He has a way with our tenants. They can see that he knows what he’s about.”
Cordelia stayed silent. While she had been busy with her sisters and their ball, she had left Henry on his own. Graymont had stepped in, a confident and assured older man, and now her young brother doubted his own capabilities. She did not know whether to applaud Graymont or to rail against him.
“I’m glad he’s helped you, and I don’t hate him. I … I would simply prefer that he not tear down our home.”
“Oh, the castle,” said Henry. “I confess I don’t care what he does with the castle. Anything new and convenient would be an improvement there. He has the blunt for it.”
“But the land is your inheritance. Surely you care about that? You may feel that you don’t have the best head for managing it, but when we come around, you can hire someone to help you, and go back to sea, if you like.”
“You still think we’ll come around?” Henry shook his head, his bleak expression at odds with his young face. “You’re dreaming, Cordelia. I went to see Father in London; tracked him down at his digs.”
“You did? When? How was he?”
Henry looked away. “You don’t want to know how he’s living. I went to find him when that wretched print came out. I thought he should come down to Delamere to take up his duties.”
Cordelia waited. She wanted to ask and feared to ask what their father’s response had been.
“You know what he said?” Henry sighed. “He said he was in no state to take up his duties. He said the land reminded him too much of Mother. The land was a trap, he said, and he urged me to get on in the navy. He poured me a drink. At nine in the morning. And he boasted that at least he had saved me from the burden of the blasted castle.”
Cordelia had no words. Her father was not grieving, as Graymont had suggested. Her father had urged her brother to walk away.
“Ned’s been looking out for a post for me. He says that Captain Martin has a place on his new ship, a sixth-rate frigate with twenty-six guns.”
“A place?”
“If I don’t go to London now, I’ll miss my chance.”
“Now? Before the ball?” Cordelia’s voice cracked a little.
Henry stood. “You have everything in hand. Or at least, Winter does. Once the girls get husbands, you won’t have so many worries. You should manage quite well here.”
“I see you’ve mapped out a future for us.” She looked up at him. “Are you sure you can get a post?”
“Graymont said he would help. He knows Admiral Baldwin.”
“You told Graymont your plan?” Before you mentioned it to me.
“I know I might have told you sooner, but you’ve been so occupied with the girls and the ball, and Graymont could see that I was … out of my element.”
“You’ve talked with him then?”
“He listens, you know, and he lent me that room. It has been quite useful to have a place to keep records and accounts and all.”
“I imagine it has been.”