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“Sometimes, it was loud and bad at home, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe or like I would burst from anger. It helped ground me at the worst of times.” More tears came from that, despite his effort to calm me. I was thinking of little Theo, broken at home, tapping his own wrist. Eventually, he shifted slightly, brushing his thumb beneath my cheek where tears had dried tight against my skin.

“Come on, baby,” he murmured softly, “let me get you off this floor.” Exhaustion clung to my body like wet cement. I barely had the energy to nod before Theo carefully slid one arm beneath my knees and the other around my back. He lifted me effortlessly, holding me against his chest as he carried me out of the bathroom. I buried my face against his neck out of instinct. He smelled so good and so Theo, I melted right into him.

The hotel room beyond us was dim and quiet, gauzy curtains filtering soft afternoon light across the rumpled bed. My discarded phone sat abandoned near the pillows, notifications still lighting the screen endlessly.

Theo ignored it completely.

He lowered me carefully onto the mattress before climbing in beside me without hesitation, still half-dressed in his team gear. His shoes hit the floor somewhere near the bed while he tugged the blankets over us both. Then he pulled me directly into his side, like it was instinct or like I belonged there.

My cheek settled against his chest while his arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders, fingers slipping into my hair slowly. I could hear his heartbeat beneath my ear, fast at first, uneven, until gradually, it synced with mine.

The room fell quiet again after that. Theo’s fingers kept moving through my hair gently while I stared blankly at the soft light stretching across the ceiling.

“I hate today,” I whispered finally. His arm tightened around me.

“I know.”

“I feel ridiculous.” My voice cracked embarrassingly. “It’s been 10 years, and somehow it still feels like it happened yesterday.”

“That’s not ridiculous.”

“But it should be.” I swallowed hard. “People move on from things. They heal.”

Theo was quiet for a long moment. Then, softly, he said, “You did heal, Red.”

I let out a bitter laugh against his chest. “Did I?”

His hand stilled in my hair. “Yes.”

I shook my head. “Theo, I sit on bathroom floors and spiral over dates on a calendar. I still can’t control my heart rate when cars crash during races sometimes. I still can’t look at certain photos without feeling sick.” My throat tightened painfully again. “Some days, it still feels like everything inside me is broken.”

Theo shifted beneath me suddenly.

Gently, he tipped my chin upward until I had no choice but to look at him. “Maisey,” he said quietly, “you survived something horrific.”

Emotion burned behind my eyes again. “I know, but—” I shook my head harder now. “You don’t understand what it’s like inside my head sometimes.” My voice trembled with every word now. “It gets so dark, Theo. Like unbelievably dark. Some days, it feels like I’m carrying this giant hole around inside my chest, and no matter how good life gets, it’s still there waiting for me.” Tears blurred my vision again. “And I’m trying so hard all the time to be okay, to be normal. But I don’t think I’ll ever fully be normal again.”

Theo’s face physically twisted like the words hurt him.

“I have these days,” I admitted shakily, “these horrible, heavy days where everything feels consuming and exhausting, and I start thinking maybe this is just who I am forever.” Shame crawled hot beneath my skin after saying it aloud. “And I know that eventually becomes too much for people.”

Theo went completely still. The silence stretched long enough that panic started creeping up my spine again. See? I thought. Too much. Always too much. I started pulling away instinctively, but Theo caught my wrist.

“Don’t,” he said hoarsely. I froze. Theo’s jaw flexed hard like he was physically fighting through something inside himself. His eyes looked glossy now too, emotion sitting dangerously close to the surface.

Then finally, quietly, he said, “Do you know what the worst part of the last 10 years was for me?”

I blinked at him through tears.

“It wasn’t the crash.” His voice cracked slightly. “It wasn’t losing racing for a while after. It wasn’t my father.” His thumb brushed gently across my knuckles. “It was knowing you went through all of that thinking you had to survive it alone.” My breath caught painfully. Theo swallowed hard before continuing. “I stayed away because I thought I ruined you.” His expression twisted with old guilt. “I thought if I loved you too loudly, I’d poison you with everything wrong inside me.” My chest tightened.

“Theo—”

His voice was shaking now. “I spent years convincing myself that you were better off without me because I didn’t know how to love someone without hurting them.” A tear finally slipped free down his cheek. “But then you came back into my life, and suddenly every fucking thing made sense again.” Emotion crashed through me so hard it hurt.

Theo leaned forward slightly until his forehead rested against mine.

“I love you,” he whispered. The words shattered something open inside my chest. His eyes searched mine desperately. “I love every version of you, Maisey.” His voice broke completely now. “The bright version who laughs too loud even when she’s tired, the stubborn version who argues with engineers twice her age, the girl who snuck out at 14 to sit on hills with me because we were lonely kids pretending we weren’t falling apart.”