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“I’m sorry, Aedre.”

I pray to the very man Father Beald wields as his ultimate weapon.

Dear God, give me the strength to deal with all men.

“You need not apologize, Vanni. I appreciate you trying to protect me. But as you can see, I am not powerless to defend myself.”

Kipp reaches us then.

“Let me see it.” He grabs my hand. “Does it hurt?”

I pull away, give both of them a hard look, and then turn back toward the front of the hall. With the Elderman gone, I make my way toward Lord Bailor to apologize for my actions. While I’m not sorry for having slapped a man who suggested that Amma taught me how to whore for protection, I am sorry for having altered the celebratory mood of the evening.

But I will make it right if I must lead the singing and dancing myself.

Vanni and Kipp can glare at each other in the meantime. With luck, they will both still be standing when I return.

In the end,we did not sit with Kipp. After apologizing to Lord Bailor and his wife, I found Vanni in a conversation with one of Murwood’s only other noblemen, a minor baron from Edingham who landed on our shores ten years earlier and never left. By the time the two finish talking, the only open seats remaining are in the back of the hall.

“You do not sit according to rank?” Vanni whispers as Bailor’s steward guides us to the open seats.

Has he learned nothing from his time here?

“Rank means very little here. You forget I am but a blacksmith’s daughter. Would I be welcome at such a feast in d’Almerita?”

Vanni doesn’t answer, which is just as well. I already know that I would not.

“Did you speak to Kipp after I left?”

We take our seats. The other occupants of the table eye Vanni suspiciously as we do so, but they are quick to return to their own conversation. Just as Vanni is quick to return to ours.

“If you consider a grunted ‘Goddamn Elderman’ a conversation, then aye.”

We talk of the incident and of the differences between Murwood End and Meria. Vanni shares tales of his childhood and training, and I tell him of Aloisa and others whom I’ve treated.

When the music begins after dinner, Vanni takes my hand and leads me to the center of the hall. And before I know it, he’s spinning me around expertly, making me laugh harder than I ever have before. The man knows how to dance, a surprise given his profession.

“I spend much time at court,” he explains, spinning me away from him and then back again.

“Do you attract much attention there?”

I already know that he does, but Vanni merely shrugs.

“How do you not have a court of noblewomen begging for you to marry them?”

“Did I say that I do not?”

I laugh, even though we both know he likely speaks the truth.

It feels as if my problems are lifted away, if only temporarily. The only weight I feel is that of Kipp’s glaring eyes. Two songs later, I excuse myself to talk to him, leaving Vanni in the large circle of dancers. I watch him for a moment. Soaking him in. He is as comfortable here as in the training yard.

Raised not only at court, but by a king. Of course he is comfortable in this hall. With men like Lord Bailor.

“You’ve not taken your eyes off him all evening,” Kipp comments blandly.

I remind myself this feast is being held to celebrate his return with his men. So instead of quipping back, I search Kipp’s eyes for a hint of acceptance. There is none.

“You do not like him.”