Page 19

Theo stood up and pulled the bell-pull. He needed a distraction, or maybe just time to think about it all, and tea would help. A servant arrived quickly and he ordered tea for the two of them, then went to stare out the window at the blustering snow.

“I hope the carol singers made it home safely.” Adam’s concern for strangers added to the swirl of emotion. How could he so systematically destroy the estate while caring so much for others? Didn’t he know how many people relied on the estate for their livelihood? Theo knew that Adam had come to stand near him without having to turn and see him. The air changed, heating up with his presence, tempting Theo to stop thinking about his dilemmas and instead, fall against Adam’s strong welcoming body.

“Before you ask, I can’t pay the estate back.” It was the reminder Theo needed, and that he hadn’t even contemplated asking worried him. It should’ve been the easiest solution of all.

“Why not?”

“We ... I spent that money on helping others.”

“All of it?” Theo spun around to stare at Adam who shrugged as if it were of no consequence.

“It is expensive to put someone on a boat to America with enough capital to set up a new life of independence without them needing to marry again. It is expensive to buy a cottage in the country for a pair of spinsters to live in for the remainder of their days. It is expensive to be in society and attend all the parties in the correct clothes so we can hear about women who need help.”

“And what about the poor women? Did you only help the wealthy?” Theo worried about the servants at the estate, the ones he paid with funds begged from banks.

“No. I am an orphan. I hope I never forget where I came from. We—” Adam cleared his throat. “I redistributed your father’s money into many worthwhile channels.”

“Such as?”

“The Land Investment Corporation has given many people opportunities to aspire to more than a life of poverty through employment and the chance to own their own land.”

“And all funded by my estate?”

“Much of it funded by your father’s greed, yes. Some of it was funded by other peers, some of it through investments.”

Theo’s nerves were stretched thin. Running always helped clear his head whenever he had this restless spirit dogging his insides and maybe it would help now too. “I need to go for a walk.”

“It is snowing.”

“And this is complicated. How am I supposed to believe these stories when you stand there with your handsome face pleading with me to believe you. This story is built on fabrication.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“Have you though?” Theo wasn’t convinced. He folded his arms and took a step backwards, away from the warmth of Adam’s presence in his office.

Adam’s gulp was audible. “No, but only because I haven’t always been honest with myself.”

Theo raised his eyebrows. It was impressive how this man managed to talk his way out of anything, and he really didn’t like the way it reminded him of his father’s friends as they schemed together. His flesh froze, suddenly as cold as the Christmas snow outside. Was his issue with Adam based in his own childhood trauma? He’d grown up knowing he couldn’t trust a word his father said; it’d been confusing at first, because naturally any child wanted to believe their father, and he had learned over time that his father said whatever he had to in order to get what he wanted in that moment. Was he judging Adam with the same cloth?

“When I discovered who you were—” Adam’s voice broke into Theo’s thoughts.

“Wait. I need a moment to think.”

Confessing to a long term scam to bring justice to Theo’s father and using the money to help people in need wasn’t the same as what his father had done. His father had selfishly taken from people, using them for his own gain and discarding them when he was finished or bored. His father had even done that with Theo, sending him to war so he couldn’t tell people what he’d seen.

He raked his hands through his hair and sighed.

“My lord?”

“I think we are beyond using titles between us. Adam.”

Adam gasped and the sadness in his expression was completely out of place, as if someone had arrived in Theo’s office with that elephant that had been at the Frost Fair last year.

“What?”

“You haven’t told me your name.”

Theo frowned. “I haven’t?”