Page 4
The Sunday Ritual
By the next Sunday, Sudha’s family had sent her another guy’s phone number. Chandar, too, had received another girl’s phone number. As luck would have it, both of them decided to meet their respective guy and girl at the same café.
Sudha was already there; the girl Chandar had to meet was there as well. Both of them saw each other, waved and exchanged a ‘What-the-hell’ look. It took ten minutes for Sudha to get irritated with her prospective rishta. Chandar kept ignoring the girl sitting in front of him and instead eyed Sudha. But he couldn’t pick up the courage to tell the girl that he wasn’t interested in marriage.
Meanwhile, Sudha walked over to Chandar’s table and spoke gravely to the girl.
‘Behen, this guy sitting with you, he’s a bastard. I am the mother of two of his children and still he’s here to meet you. This guy wants only three things from a girl: sex, sex and more sex. While I can tell you this, you have to make your own decision. It’s your lust … I mean life after all.’
The girl immediately got up and left, giving Chandar a look that can only be described as a ‘what-the-hawas’ look.
Sudha turned to Chandar. ‘How was my acting?’
‘It was pathetic.’
‘Why, I saved your life from going down the drain.’
‘How did you know that my life was going down the drain?’
‘You told me that you didn’t want to get married!’
‘Yeah, I did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get married EVER!’
‘Before you arrived, this girl was speaking to her boyfriend. She told him she would get done with ‘‘this idiot’’ in half an hour.’
‘She called me an idiot? That bitch!’
‘Oh yeah, she called you an idiot. I can put up with lots of things, but I can’t deal with it if someone else calls you an idiot. That’s my sole right. Ha ha!’
‘This is acting, right?’
‘What do you think?’
‘You act well. Why don’t you try the movies?’
‘Jahanpanah! Anarkali can’t dance in slow motion on a snow-capped mountain wearing a saree, no? That’s why I do theatre. I used to do live theatre when I was in college.’
‘I have heard of theatre, but what in the world is live theatre?’
‘In Delhi, when we would be on the bus back from college and if we saw someone harassing a girl, I would slap a friend of mine and create a ruckus. This made the harasser lose his shit. We would then get down at a bus stop and pretend to go to the police station, then take the next bus. I have slapped my friends plenty of times.’
‘So don’t you do this slapping live theatre now?’
‘At times. Like I did right now in front of that girl. But now I do theatre. Come to think of it, life is a lot like acting. Some people ace it, some fail. Anyway, I’ll let you know whenever my play happens. Will you come?’
‘Yeah, why not? I’ll be there.’
‘So what’s the plan for today? Do you have to meet someone else?’
‘No. No plans as such.’
‘Want to go watch a play?’
‘Which one?’
‘Whatever is running right now. Talking about theatre made me want to watch one.’
‘All right, let’s go. Just don’t slap me mid-play to start your live theatre.’
