Page 64
“I know what I look like,” she mumbled, turning her face away.
“And I am saying you only perceive yourself one way,” he insisted, as they whirled around together. “Your scars have never offended me.”
Her attention snapped back to him, her eyes widening.
“They interest me, but they do not repulse me,” he added.
“Why not?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Pardon?”
“Why do they not offend you?”
“Why should they?” he countered. “They are a part of you. Indeed, the only thing about them that offends me is the pain you must have suffered when you got them. I do not like to think of you being in such pain.”
Her eyes glittered, growing misty. “I… did not like the pain either.” Her voice hitched. “But it was nothing compared to the pain of losing my parents. I would have endured those burns a thousand times and a thousand times worse if my parents could have lived.”
Ferocity colored her voice, her mouth moving anxiously, as if she were chewing the inside of her cheek.
“What happened?” Anthony asked quietly, as he twirled her into a promenade, the music and the rest of the dance floor truly fading into the background.
“We were coming back from London,” she replied, after a pause. “The weather was terrible, but my mother did not want to stop for the night. She just wanted to be home.”
She could not look at him as she spoke and, for a moment, he thought she might not continue.
“Lightning struck a tree on the road, right in front of us,” she said. “The horses spooked and the carriage hit the tree. I still do not know how it happened, but one moment we were complaining about the rain, and the next, we were upside down and everything was ablaze. I believe the driver was transporting liquor but I cannot prove anything. And he lost his life too, so I can hardly blame him.
“I was closest to the door, and I remember my father crawling to wrench it open. The fire was already inside the carriage, flames devouring everything dry. He lifted me up and I managed to get out… but neither of them followed. I waited for them, prayed they would climb out of there, but then the rest of the tree fell.”
Anthony listened in grave disbelief, his heart twinging at all she had lost, and the strength it must have taken for her to see those scars every day and know what they meant.
“It was hours until I was found,” she continued. “I think the cold rain helped my burns somewhat, but I spent a week in the house of a village doctor who, believe me, did not know what he was doing. My uncle was summoned, and he stayed with me until I was able to be moved. After that, I was raised at Stadley.”
“How old were you?”
She shrugged. “I had just turned eleven.”
He twirled her again and when she came back toward him, he pulled her closer to him, not caring if the gesture put them in the scandal sheets tomorrow.
Indeed, if it were not for the orchestra dictating it, he would have danced with her forever, holding her to him, knowing that at least in his arms she was safe.
“I am sorry, Marina,” he murmured.
She met his gaze and shook her head. “You have no reason to be sorry.”
“Is that why you wish to be a healer?” he asked, realizing the connection.
A shy look crossed her face. “In part. To begin with, certainly, but the more I learned, the more I just wanted to… be of use. You look at the rest of society—not the people here—and women are doing so much. I wanted to be more like them, I suppose. To be of value to greater society.”
“So, you never had notions of being a duchess?” he said, lightly teasing.
She laughed softly, the sound delighting him. “Not at all. In truth, I would have expected to be a doctor before I ever thought I would be a duchess.” She paused, some humor returning to her eyes. “How are your feet?”
“You shall have to search your apothecary for a soothing balm,” he replied with a smirk. “Perhaps some splints for the breaks.”
A brighter laugh spilled from her lips. “I have not trodden on them that much!”
“No, of course not,” he said, whirling her around as the music began to taper towards its conclusion. “You have been a perfectly graceful and gracious dancing partner.”
