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This was… torture.

I headed to the foyer and stopped at the entrance to the east wing. I’d been there. I’d invaded his space. Touched his things. Found his weapons. Back then I was looking for something to keep me alive. Now… I wasn’t looking for weapons. I lifted my gaze to the entrance to his wing. The silence answered me. I missed him.

A long, slow breath left me.

That was it, wasn’t it?

I closed my eyes. Oh, God.

That’s why the silence felt strange today. Heavier. Lonelier.

I’d had moments and days before where there was no one here and it hadn’t hit me like this. But after yesterday in the training room. After the Phantom and the fruit and the way he was always there. Always steady. Always one dangerous collision away from me. That’s what I wanted. I wanted him.

More of him.

His silence.

His stare.

His protection.

His touch.

I opened my eyes and stared at the hallway. That dangerous heat bloomed. I took a step, and then another. Familiar doors. That same heavy seductive scent. Pine and earth and danger. My body tightened as I inhaled. I didn’t go to his weapons room this time. No. I stopped at the doorway to his room.

I searched for that part of me that knew this was wrong. That I shouldn’t be here. That I was breaking his rules all over again. Maybe he could forgive me for the weapon. But I wasn’t after a weapon now, was I? I was after access… to him.

Would he forgive that?

I didn’t wait to find out.

I stepped inside.

And suddenly he was everywhere.

Pine.

Earth.

And that same dangerous scent that always seemed to cling to him. The loneliness eased before I could stop it. I stood there for a moment, letting the room settle around me. His room. But it wasn’t cold like I expected it to be. No. It was lived in.

The bed was made. The sheets pulled tight. A book rested on the edge of the dresser. The chair. The bedpost. I wasn’t searching anymore. Not really. I was lingering.

The realization made my cheeks burn. God. What was wrong with me? I turned toward the closet. The door stood slightly ajar. Just enough.

I shouldn’t.

The thought came weakly.

Still, I moved closer.

My fingers didn’t tremble as I opened the door. Dark shirts hung neatly inside. Jackets. Trousers. Everything arranged with military precision. My gaze settled on a black shirt hanging nearest the door. The sleeves rolled. Forgotten. Or abandoned in a hurry.

I reached out before I could stop myself. The fabric was soft beneath my fingers. Warm memories rushed in.

His hands.

His voice.