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Diaphragmatic breaths and a methodical mind. Meditation and clarity. This whole thing has been exhausting and completely draining—from living, to dying, to whatever this hellacious rollercoaster of a ride is. I’m ready to settle.

Attie’s right—our time together has been a gift I’d never thought I’d get. We should celebrate it: what we’ve accomplished and what we’ve learned along the way. But we don’t and we won’t.

I say nothing. There aren’t any words. Attie kneels down in front of me and takes my hands in his. He looks so troubled. His eyes search my face like he’s drinking in my features so he’ll never forget them.

He says quietly, unsure, “I think I know what to do.”

CHAPTER 32

ATTICUS

Having no clue what I’m doing or if this is going to work, I still need to try. I practically shove Lyr out the door and down the sidewalk. She’s not moving fast enough, and I end up tugging her along. I don’t know why I feel like we need to rush, but I’m filled with an impending doom.

Lyr grinds her heels into the ground and yanks backward. Jesus, she’s pulling so hard, my arm feels like it’s going to pop out of its socket. I abruptly halt, and she falls backward. Instead of hitting the cement, she moves through it and snaps back up like a Jack-in-the-Box.

She looks at me wide-eyed, her eyebrows practically reaching her hairline. Poor girl’s in shock. “How?” is all she says.

She blinks rapidly and swallows hard.

“Your emotions are running rampant. So are mine. The difference is that I know how to separate my feelings from what needs to be done, and you let yours dictate what you do.”

It’s a hard truth, but she needs to hear it.

She glares at me through narrowed lids, her lips pursed. I can see her working her jaw as she crosses her arms over her chest. She’s so defensive.

“Stop acting like you’re so much better than me. It’s not a flex to be dead longer.”

Ouch. She wounds me.

“I’m not acting like I’m better than you, Lyr. I’m just being honest in my observations. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine.”

I don’t mean to be an ass toward her, but I feel attacked. She knows how to get under my skin. She has since ‌the beginning.

“Ugh!”

She stomps off down the sidewalk. She’s such a brat. But she’s my brat, and she has me harder than a witch’s nipple in a brass bra. I wish she would stop asking so many questions, though, and actually work on moving through the Veil like she’s supposed to be.

“Come back. You don’t know where we’re going.” I command.

She looks over her shoulder and sticks her tongue out at me as she picks up speed. Oh, now she’s gone and done it.

I lower my voice and my tone, “You better run, little girl.”

Lyr giggles and squeals and books it. It takes me a minute to figure out where she’s going, but when I do, it gets my adrenaline pumping even faster. She screams when she sees that I’m gaining on her. I love this—chasing her. Fuck, I can smell her pussy from here.

Her Chucks hit the sand and I tackle her to the ground.

“Uh-uh,” I roll her to face me, and she’s belly laughing.

I try not to smile, but her laugh is contagious and I find myself cracking up, too.

I eventually choke out, “You’re a little shit, you know that?”

And she giggles some more before pretending to pout. I lean down and suck in her lower lip, nibbling on the soft, plump flesh. She lets out a soft moan.

“Nope, we gotta go.” I say and jump off her, holding my hands up to help her up from the hot ground.

“You’re such a party pooper,” she whines.