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“He’s not with me,” Sam says, tilting his chin up and swallowing hard. “He died in my arms. He’s gone.”

Kayla’s knees buckle. As if she’s losing her son all over again, she drops to the ground. I let her kneel and release my grip on her arms. Hugging her belly, she sobs, shaking her head and rocking back and forth like a child.

“Are you telling the truth?” she looks up, eyes full of tears.

“Yes.” Sam folds his arms. His voice shakes a little as he adds, “I tried to save him, but I failed. He’s gone.”

I step away from Kayla and put my hand on Sam’s shoulder. His muscles are taut, his features are too. He doesn’t move, just stands stoically still and stares at Kayla.

From the ground, she looks up at us. “Kill me,” she whispers.

I exchange a long glance with Sam.

“Kill me,” she repeats, the scar on her face glinting as a ray of sunlight breaks through the canopy above us. “There is no point in me being here now. Not without my son. Please, kill me.”

“Your call,” I tell Sam.

He crouches down in front of her and squeezes her face between his thumb and forefinger. “I won’t kill you,” he says slowly. “Do you know why?”

“Because I deserve to suffer?” A tear runs down Kayla’s cheek, following the groove of the scar Kole gave her many, many years ago.

Sam almost smiles. He shakes his head and sighs. “No, because Nico was my brother and he loved you. Despite everything, he loved you. And I respect that bond enough to put his feelings before my own.” Slowly, Sam stands up again. “I knew him a few days. You knew him his whole life, and you weren’t a good enough mother to do that.”

As Kayla staggers to her feet, Sam turns away from her. He stops, shoulders rising and falling slowly with his breath. Then he says, “Don’t let us see you here again,” and walks away.

7

SAM

I wait until I’m back behind the barrier before truly breathing. One hundred emotions swirl in the basement of my stomach. Memories scratch at the backs of my eyes. Memories I’ve been trying to keep at bay.

Mack puts a steadying hand on my back. “You okay, kid?” he asks.

“I’m not a kid,” I shrug away from him. “I’m Nova’s age. Twenty-five, Mack.”

“I know,” he says, an apologetic frown creasing his forehead. “I just meant—”

“I know what you meant. I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole.” I turn to lean back against the pine tree that marks the start of the protection spell which has been shielding us from view for the past few weeks.

“It was a brave choice, letting her live.” Mack is standing in front of me. He’s completely naked. I probably should have gotten used to it by now, but it still surprises me. Looking at him, I can see why it would be inevitable that Nova would fall for him. Seeing him in all his glory every time he completes a shift does something to the brain. After the twentieth-or-so time, you start to get up the confidence to look. Really look. And when that happens, thoughts start to happen.

I snap my eyes back to his face and clear my throat. I shouldn’t be looking or thinking, but for a moment—that brief moment when I was admiring the shape of Mack’s thighs instead of thinking about my brother—the pain wasn’t as painful anymore. The memories faded.

“Fuck,” I mutter, scraping my fingers through my hair. “I wish Nova was here.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I’m not much of a substitute. Tanner’s a good listener. You should talk to him. Or reach out to Sarah. She doesn’t even know you’re back—”

“It’s not listening that I need,” I tell him. “I don’t need to talk about what happened. I need to forget it. Drown it out.”

“Nova’s good at that,” Mack says. “Drowning things out.”

“She did that for you?”

“Being with her…” Mack pauses, rubbing his neat gray beard. “The things from my past that haunted me disappeared when I was with her.” His cock twitches and I can’t help noticing. What is he remembering? “I had all sorts of hang-ups,” Mack laughs. “I thought I was too old for her. I thought I’d end up hurting her because, well, most people who get close to me end up hurt one way or another. I thought I didn’t deserve to feel good.” He pauses as if he thinks he’s said too much.

“But she made you see that you do?” We seem to be standing closer now, and the space between us quivers a little.

“Yes,” Mack says, his voice strained. “She did.”