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11

SAM

I pace back and forth outside the cabin, my paws hitting the dry earth. The others are inside, their voices a low hum as they pore over spell books and scrolls. I made an excuse about needing to shift and left as soon as they started.

Despite the circumstances, there was a buzz in the air. A renewed sense of purpose because they’ve got something to focus on. Something new to try to fix. Except, I don’t feel that way.

Sometimes I wonder if this is how Snow feels – left out, useless. But he has Mack. They have that profound bond that comes from sharing a soul. Me? I’m just an outsider who happened to fall for Nova. Sure, we share a history that she doesn’t share with the others. But I’m not one of her fated mates. Just a guy who got lucky, who she cares about, but who will never truly be a part of her the way the others are.

No matter how hard I try to buy them, these thoughts gnaw at me. Since I arrived in Phoenix Falls, I’ve struggled to feel like I belong. Like anyone could truly want me around. Nova and the others already shared something special. They’d been a part of her salvation, her transformation. They’d witnessed her changing and growing.

I was the new guy. The one who was fumbling around trying to navigate his feelings and his past.

I don’t know magick. I know next to nothing about the supernatural world beyond what I learned in the club and from Madame.

And in the end, it was Nico that Nova needed. Not me.

I try not to let the thoughts torment me. I know Tanner senses them, and a couple of times he’s tried to broach the subject with me. But I don’t want to talk about them. What good will talking do?

Being with Nova helps. Being with Nova and Mack helps even more.

But moments like this bring my insecurities clawing to the surface.

Vicious, destructive voices in my head tell me that the others merely tolerate my presence for Nova’s sake. That she only tolerates me because she feels sorry for me. Because she knows I’d have nowhere to go and no one to run to if she told me she didn’t want me anymore.

A breeze ruffles my fur and brings with it the coppery tang of blood. Not human blood, but animal. I raise my snout, sniffing, trying to push aside my melancholy thoughts. There’s something familiar about the scent underneath the raw meat smell. Instincts kicking in, I abandon my pacing and take off in the direction of the blood, paws kicking up dust.

I dart between the trees, following the scent through the forest. It grows stronger as I near a small clearing blanketed with ferns. In the center, a shape I’d recognize anywhere…

Nico.

Feasting on the carcass of a deer, sharp teeth ripping flesh from bone, his shoulders ripple and a deep growl rumbles in his throat.

Even now, I struggle to see him like this. In such a monstrous form.

Gray skin stretches tight over his bones, his jaws drip with blood and saliva, and his eyes flash as he looks up at me.

When he lifts his muzzle from the deer’s ribs, his nostrils flare. He blinks his burning red eyes in recognition.

My stomach twists. Some wolves feed on animals like this but I’ve never been able to do it. Even back at Spine, I refused the meat we were offered.

Shaking his head, Nico leaves the deer and prowls closer.

It has been too long, brother, he says silently.

Where have you been? I ask, trying not to sound as dejected as I feel. For the first few weeks after it all ended, he and I hunted together every night. I didn’t feast, but I enjoyed the thrill of the chase. But then our hunts became fewer, and fewer.

With a flurry of movement, Nico shifts back to human form and gestures for me to do the same.

He strides over and embraces me, clapping me on the back. “You saw the attack?” he asks.

I nod.

“AMA.” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“The SDB confirmed it?”

Nico rubs the back of his neck. “I confirmed it.” He grimaces, the smile slipping from his face. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. I just wasn’t sure how…”