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In the moment, it was incredible. But now he’s gone, locking the door behind him to go and deal with some ‘urgent business’, I can’t help feeling like I’ve made a huge mistake.

I let him get close to me, let him see the cracks in my armor.

He’s seen my scars, physical and emotional.

And I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so vulnerable.

The sex was incredible, mind-blowing, but it wasn’t just physical. There was an emotional connection that I’ve never shared with anyone before. And the intensity is so unnerving I don’t know how to handle it.

I told him about my parents, about the car crash that shattered my life. I let him see the guilt I’ve carried ever since. I let him see what it does to me.

I close my eyes as the memory surges up, vivid, and gut-wrenching. The screech of tires, the sickening crunch of metal, the searing pain in my legs and back and arms. The darkness. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, trying to block it out, but it’s too late.

I was trapped, upside down, the seatbelt cutting into my chest. The radio was still playing, some upbeat pop song that seemed almost funny amongst all the carnage. Blood dripped into my eyes, my hair, my mouth. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. I thought I was going to die.

I called for my parents. I tried to look back over my shoulder, but the pain was too much, and I was pinned by something.

A tree.

Sticking through the windshield. A branch pressing down on my chest.

I called for them again but there was no answer.

I smashed the glass. Fought my way out.

A sob catches in my throat, yanking me back to the present. I curl in on myself, hugging my knees to my chest. Why did I tell Lucien about that? What was I thinking? Was I so blinded by the sex, and the way he looked at me, and the way he spoke to that werewolf?

“You don’t even think about her. Do you understand?”

If that wasn’t the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me then I don’t know what is.

But even as I berate myself, I can’t ignore the small, traitorous part of me that feels a connection to Lucien. He’s not like the vampires who attacked me at the bookshop. He’s cruel, yes, and dangerous, but there’s something else there too. A flicker of humanity, buried deep.

He thinks I can’t see it. But I do.

The way he wants to protect me. The way he looked at my scars.

I turn over and allow myself to scream into my pillow.

I don’t even know what time of day it is. Yes, he’s shown he wants to protect me. But he still has me locked up here.

And I know he’s watching me. He has to be; how else would he have known I was holding a razor against my thigh?

I can’t let myself get sucked in. I’ve been down this road before – with Steven. I thought he was different, too, thought he cared about me. But in the end, he just used me, broke me down until I was a shell of myself.

I can’t let that happen again.

I can’t sit here and convince myself that Lucien is capable of truly caring for me.

Look at the evidence, Luna. Just look...

He’s locked you in. Locked. You. In.

Does someone do that if they care for you? If they trust you?

And he still hasn’t given you answers.

I have to get out of here, and away from Lucien and his mind games. I’ve already tried to escape once and failed, but I can’t give up. I won’t. I can’t stay just because the thought of never feeling him inside me again makes me feel like crying. Or because I felt safer in his arms than I ever have before. Or because his blood is the only thing in years that has muted my pain.