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Karen continues in a serious tone, ‘There’s more. We’ve brought in a transformation expert. We’re headed for a humungous shake-up. Only those keen to succeed will be kept on. It’s what’s best for the company that matters.’
I’m confused. I’ve sacrificed my entire social life and most weekends and most of my crappy relationships, all so that I can be the one to manage over two hundred people across ten regional fecking offices.
‘Anyway, must get on!’ She chuckles, shaking her head as if this is all a huge joke and not the end of my career, before picking up her phone to indicate that our meeting is over. She waves me off. ‘I’ll leave you to update the team.’
‘You want me… me to tell the team? Tell them we’re potentially going to lose our jobs?’
Surely she wouldn’t do that to me. I’m too nice.
Karen frowns. ‘No. That’s not what I said.’
I let out a gusty sigh of relief.
‘I need you to tell them that they are definitely going to lose their jobs.’
I leave the office in a confused daze. Not only will I not be getting a promotion, but I never will. I zig-zag my way across to Ava’s section, full of fury, only to find she isn’t there.
‘Ava’s out celebrating with everyone,’ comes a tired voice from behind a computer screen.
‘Everyone?’ I ask.
‘You didn’t get an invite either? Literally everyone got invited.’
* * *
As I sit staring at the empty desks around me, beads of sweat running down my back, I wonder how I’ll break the news to the team. They’ll be devastated. I message Dan, to see if his shoulder is available. I need it for a bit of a cry, some advice on how to confront my sister and to commiserate over an ‘after work’ gin cocktail or ten.
No reply.
Like me, he’s probably working through lunch. I make my way up to the next floor to see him. I’m in search of reassurance. In fact, maybe it is time Dan and I moved in together. Maybe we need to take our relationship to the next level and commit to each other. I’m twenty-nine years old. I should have my own sofa and matching curtains by now, instead of living with my parents and sister. And while I have obediently invested all my cash into a high-return, un-get-at-able savings scheme to put me in a stronger bargaining position with the mortgage lender when the day finally comes, it does unfortunately mean I’m currently skint.
I find Dan’s chair empty.
‘He’s gone out to lunch already.’ I turn around to face Dan’s assistant, reddening as he gives me a look that suggests something is up.
Oh, Christ.
I’m determined not to become paranoid, but I’d be a fool not to even think that Dan might be out celebrating with my sister. ‘Any idea who he went out to lunch with? On my birthday?’
He mumbles to his keyboard that he has no idea about that either. I check Dan’s Instagram to see that he is currently out enjoying gin cocktails on my birthday. How nice for him. I peer closely at the selfie he has taken of his drink. His silhouette is reflected off the glass table. He looks like he has his arm around a woman, pulling her in close. Whoever it is, she has long hair just like my sister.
Men. Lying, cheating, good-for-nothing feckers.
* * *
An hour later, I hear the boisterous approach of my team piling out of the lift. Apparently, I have missed ‘one hell of a birthday lunch’.
‘How did it go with Karen?’ Pippa asks.
The whole team look thrilled with themselves.
‘The meeting was…’ I pause as they all gather round me for the good news.
A disastrous minefield of professional failure on my part.
‘It was…’
I need to tell them the truth.
