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The words turn to ash in my mouth, borrowed from a crueler truth than the one I want this to be.

“Before I stepped foot in the Blue Note, all I had was a dossier my family put together for me to study.” I lick my lips. “I never expected, when we met…”

A rumble comes from him. “Go on, say it.”

I ignore the command. “Shortly after I established first contact, we received an anonymous message that the Blue Note Crew was positioning to move on the Vartanians, and I was tasked to confirm or deny the threat.”

A frown flickers across his lips, but he keeps his thoughts to himself.

“I verified that our data remained secure and reported back to the family that I found no evidence that the Blue Note was interested in expanding their territory, let alone targeting the Vartanian, but it wasn’t enough, and I was sent back to cement our relationship.”

I leave it at that, the bare facts between us. No justification. No regret. Let him see me for what I was. A willing participant, not a victim.

He deserves that much.

But Orien shows no sign of anger, betrayal, or even a flicker of surprise following my revelation. He gives nothing away, leaving me to flounder in the silence.

My jaw tightens, and I wait. I’ve made my choice, and now I have to live with the consequences, whatever they are.

When Orien speaks, he matches my empty tone. “What do you intend to do now?”

The question catches me off guard. Not why I came. Not how much of what happened between us was real. Only what I intend going forward.

“The next plan for escalation has already begun,” I say, fresh disappointment and anger at my family rising. “This won’t be a simple disruption of the Blue Note’s supplies or another attempt to have the lounge shut down.”

I search for a reaction, but he remains impassive. “I believe the anonymous message was engineered to provoke conflict between the Blue Note and the Vartanians, and Alexei agrees, but he also green-lit this new plan.”

My hands curl into fists, my entire body shaking now. “I used to think our family had a code, lines we wouldn’t cross, but tonight⁠—”

I cut off on a gasping breath. “I don’t know who Alexei is anymore, and I refuse to participate in what the council has come up with to destroy your group.”

Another gasp escapes me, this one breaking into a sob, and I fist a hand over my heart. “I can’t be loyal to them anymore. Not when it means⁠—”

Orien crosses the kitchen in three strides to pull me into his arms, and a dam inside me breaks open.

An ugly, uncontrolled sob tears out of me, my fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt. He’s solid and warm and real, and somehow, that’s the worst part. I’m falling apart in the arms of the man I was sent to destroy, and he offers more of a safe home than my family ever did.

He rubs my shaking back with soothing murmurs. “It’s okay, trouble. Nothing you’ve done has hurt us.”

“You can’t be sure of that.” I fist his T-shirt. “You don’t know what information I’ve passed on to them.”

His hold loosens, and he tips my chin up. “Yes, I do.”

I blink up at him through wet lashes. “How?”

“I suspected you were a spy early on,” he says. “And once I verified your identity, Rowan told the crew to give you full access to anything you wanted. We have nothing to hide from the Vartanians.”

The apartment goes quiet around us. The snow still falls beyond the window, but my focus narrows to the man standing across from me.

I hiccup out a shocked gasp. “What gave me away?”

“I was certain of your identity by your third visit.” His demeanor remains maddeningly calm. “But you gave yourself away the first night. When you shook my hand, I felt your trigger finger. The calluses don’t lie.”

He takes my hands in his, turning them over, and runs his thumbs slowly across the pads of my fingers and the inside of my trigger finger. Each pass leaves a trail of heat that lingers long after he’s moved on.

By the time he reaches the heel of my palm, I’ve forgotten to breathe.

“And you move like someone who learned to fight before they learned to drive.” One shoulder lifts in a casual shrug. “We’ve all trained enough to recognize the signs.”