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“Bellebelle, what’s wrong?” Ella was by my side. I took in her growing worry through my hazy eyes, her cheeks flushed a shade like the shirt she wore. A shirt she had buttoned to her collar. Because she was trying to hide the burn marks on her skin. All because of that night.
A night that changed all our lives.
And somehow, even after all these years, it changed mine tonight.
I started walking toward my room, not being able to take it. It felt like everything was crashing down on me all at once. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, and I really, really wanted my tears to just stop. But they wouldn’t. They just wouldn’t.
I hadn’t stopped crying since I left Arkane’s place.
And I never cried all my life.
But tonight, my broken heart felt wide open, and it just wanted to cry.
“Come here.” Ella pulled me into her arms, hushing in my ear as she softly rubbed my back. “I’ve never seen my Bellebelle cry before.”
“Yeah,” Ari mumbled, holding me from the side.
In my sister’s arms, I only cried more. I hadn’t told them enough times how much I loved them, but every day I tried to show them.
When my cries quieted, Ella took my cheeks in her hands and peered at me with her soft eyes. “What’s wrong, Bellebelle? Did someone hurt you?” A slight panic rose in her tone, and I could see her mind thinking the worst. If only she knew that no man was capable of hurting me like that anymore; the same couldn’t be said for my heart.
“You know you can tell us anything, right?” Ari whispered, smoothing away the hair sticking to my face.
I wanted to scream at them that I was in love with a man who had just broken my heart. And that I killed evil people at night. But I said nothing and instead buried my face in Ella’s neck, breathing in her warm gardenia scent, the same kind Mother used to wear.
They both sighed and simply held me instead, not saying another word and just being there for me. They understood me well enough to know I was the way I was for a reason, and instead of questioning or trying to change me, they accepted me as I was. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
That night, we all huddled up in Ella’s bed, watching reruns of princess movies that Mother used to make us watch as kids, while eating tubs of chocolate ice cream.
“Remember what Auntie Lylah used to tell us.” Ella smiled, shifting her eyes from Beauty and the Beast dancing in the ballroom to both of us. “It’s okay to be a princess, but remember to also be…”
“Brave and strong,” we both finished the sentence for her, a smile lighting up our faces at the cherished memory. Those were the last words Mother told us.
I spent the next three days in bed, my heart missing something that was never mine.
I didn’t realize how in love with him I was until he was gone. Or more like I left his world. It wasn’t like I belonged there, but it hurt to know that I was never welcome in the first place.
Even after all this, I still wasn’t angry with him. And I couldn’t bring myself to be, because I understood why he did what he did. Sometimes, we go to great lengths to protect and avenge the ones we love. And Arkane, even if he didn’t admit it, loved his mother. Somehow, we both had our mothers taken from us right in front of our eyes, and we both reacted differently, and that was okay.
My only thought was that, at least after knowing me, I wished he had told me the truth instead of playing me like a fool. I showed him genuine affection and respect, a side of me I’d never shown anyone, but it meant nothing to him.
A selfish part of me wanted to go back in time, a time when I was ignorant of the truth, just so I could linger in his presence for longer. But it was what it was. It happened, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I tugged my sheets away and wiped the remnants of my tears as my feet touched the floor. I slowly walked over to my window and leaned over the ledge, taking in the quiet street.
A small smile curved my lips at the sight of the gray clouds and the soft rain touching the ground.
I was the kind of person who learned time and time again to accept, find peace, and rebuild my life all over again. It wasn’t anything new to me.
I wasn’t going to let this ruin my life, just like I hadn’t let anything or anyone ruin my life before. And Arkane Stormhold wasn’t going to either.
“Are you still crying over that asshole?” called out a voice from behind me.
“No,” I mumbled, turning around to see Shouma-kun poking his head through my door.
Shouma-kun somehow made himself a permanent resident in my home ever since that day at the Covent compound. It wasn’t anything new. Whenever he was in the Twins, he mostly stayed with me. My sisters thought we were secretly in a relationship. If only they knew he exchanged bodily fluids with almost every available woman in the Twins. His favorite was Paula, a pesky bartender from the Blue Line, whom he even went out to visit last night. And judging from his condition, I was sure he didn’t get a wink of sleep.
Shouma and I were like day and night. While he craved a dash in the sunlight and I craved the comfortable darkness, we were opposites. But we knew each other so well that we respected each other’s preferences without judgment and carried out our duties without question.