Page 54

After a long pause, she inhaled and burrowed into me. Her arms bent, and as her ear pressed against where my heart beat with the pulse she’d given back to me, I finally knew this was real. “So would I.”

Drak

Our return to Old Skaldir made me never want to leave.

Warm copper and gold light from the fire flickered over the high bone in Lux’s cheek. A faint flush colored the curve of her throat. Remnants of my urges as a vampire flared along with the rhythm of the fire in front of us. But here, holding my wife in my arms, that other life felt both intimately present and impossibly distant.

I was no longer undead, but whole and human. Just as I was, mortal and vulnerable, when my first life ended at the Battle of Sundered Sky. It was strange being so exposed and so weak compared to my vampire body. I was prey in a kingdom of predators, and it sent me back to the helplessness I suffered as a young boy watching King Roderic murder my father and use my mother.

I shuddered despite the radiating warmth of the fire.

Soren sat across from us, letting the flame separate us while Stasia busied herself poking at the dried mullein stalks we’d gathered for kindling. The storm ended as quickly and intensely as it’d begun, giving the daylight just enough time to dry out the scant plants that’d grown here since the gods receded. They didn’t thrive, but the fact that plants grew here at all was a fucking miracle. Until this rain, there hadn’t been enough moisture to keep them alive long. Stalks grew to the height of our knees only, and in the past few weeks, I guessed, they’d dried out again.

Until Lux brought her powers here.

I ran the pad of my thumb along her jaw. She sat between my widespread legs; her fatigued body heavy against my chest and stomach. With one of her hands cupped in mine, between my body heat and the fire, her blue-tinted fingers finally flushed with the same shade of rose blooming on her face and neck. The effort of bringing me back and then escaping the storm left her collapsed. Really, the weight of the rising and falling emotions likely exhausted her the most.

It even left my chest tight and my skull heavy on my shoulders. Seeing her again was pure bliss, but a world torn by war tainted it because battle was what’d ripped us apart the first time. So many fucking times.

I thumbed the vein in her neck with a gentle brush, noting the way her pulse skipped, though at least it had finally slowed now, and she gave in to sleep. Her chest swelled and then ebbed with deep breaths.

The crackling fire snapped my attention from the dip of her collarbone and back to the flame between me and Soren. A makeshift tent shuddered behind him in the wind. One for him, one for Stasia, and one for me and Lux, but Stasia had already announced she wanted to sleep between solid walls. Even if the ancient temple was missing its roof and had headless statues that stood like horrifying dead sentinels, she said she preferred the safety of a proper structure.

“And without the roof,” Stasia continued rambling, “I can see the stars. It’s so clear out here. I’ve never seen them so bright. Did you guys know Finan used to chart the stars? They all have names, and he swears he can locate anything by tracking them. He said you can use them to guide your ship beyond even West Anglor. There’s a whole world beyond there, he says. I believe him.”

As she spoke, I tilted my chin up to meet Soren’s steady gaze. He eyed me in return. His lips remained flat, and his eyes gave nothing away. Did he distrust me? Did he forgive me? He shouldn’t. I hadn’t gathered a proper apology yet because nothing felt like enough. It didn’t matter that I’d kept his secret, that I’d threatened him, and that he was just a kid. I was a bully to a child, just like King Roderic was to me.

A shudder bolted down my spine. I tensed and tried not to flinch with Lux sound asleep in my arms.

Finally, Stasia ended a rant about how sick of salted fish she’d become and excused herself. I opened my mouth to apologize to Soren, but my jaw snapped shut again when his gaze shifted back to the fire. It was so long ago, but if I’d learned anything, those critical moments in our childhood were what shaped our behaviors as adults. Lux lived in shame because of the fear that drove her to hide and watch the Grimward take her sister away. Silver swore revenge on Vylheim for the fate she’d been damned to as a girl. Stasia—I didn’t know her story well, but I’d gathered her admiration for Finan, The Wolf, was a lifelong loyalty to a childhood friend-turned-executioner. Even Kayn had let his need for attention as a child stretch into adulthood and across centuries. Even as he stayed undead and gave his soul for the gods, all for the ultimate validation—from Odin himself. I frowned. The memory of Kayn giving his body to a cruel and selfish god soured my stomach, and a stomachache wasn’t something I’d experienced since I was a kid.

Wind picked up, shuddering through the flames. Lux shifted in my arms, her cheeks growing cold again and her fingers stiff. I cupped her hands in mine tighter, but I couldn’t block the icy air slipping through my fingers.

“It’s cold as balls,” Soren muttered as he stood and stretched. His hands dissipated into shadow, leaving his arms looking cut off halfway to his elbows. This was natural for him; at any sign of threat or discomfort, he became darkness. Was it from the tension between us, or from the cold?

“I should get her into the tent,” I said, straightening.

“You should have gotten her inside hours ago, Drak.”

When I looked back up at him, I noted his shit-eating grin. Knowing Soren, it was an invitation to fight ‌him. He always loved a good argument as long as it was harmless. “Are you calling me out, brother?”

Soren snorted. “Brother.”

A grim smile twisted my lips. “Yes, brother. Because that’s how siblings are sometimes⁠—”

“How are they, Drak? Do tell.” He folded his arms across his chest, exhibiting the wiry muscles in his forearms. Beneath the folded sleeves of his tunic, swirling ink peeked out. I hadn’t noticed the tattoos before. Maybe because I’d avoided looking at him. Damn, I was a coward in admitting my faults.

Fuck it. It was time to face my mistakes.

“They’re assholes to each other sometimes,” I said. “And I was a fucking asshole to you.” I stared right into his curious yet shaded eyes. They didn’t reveal if he agreed with me, but he probably didn’t. Even though he’d copied me when we were children and wanted to be just like me, ‌he’d likely grown into an adult who wanted the opposite after the way I’d threatened him. “I’m sorry, Soren.”

“I told your little wife not to do this, and I’m going to tell you to do the same thing, Drak. Don’t.” His stance was steady, with his feet wide and his arms crossed. He lifted his chin but kept his gaze on me. “I don’t need apologies. I need freedom.”

“Then come with me and Lux. We’ll dethrone Silver and wipe your slate clean. When the vampires are gone, nobody will remember your crimes. You’ll have every freedom.”

Soren’s brow furrowed. “Sounds boring as fuck.”

“You can paint. Lux told me the castle is…stained. Maybe your murals can cover the blood.” His lips twitched in a subtle smile, suggesting he liked the idea, though it wasn’t quite enough for him. Nothing in Mara would ever be enough for him; deep down, I knew this truth. I sucked in a breath as my eyes trailed over the ruins past him. The destroyed structures were proof of hard times, but they held hope within them. The boredom of this place was exactly what I wanted. It’s what I wanted to give Lux: a simple life on a farm, with days full of tilling fields and shepherding animals, while Lux recorded the history of our people. To Soren, that sounded like misery, but to me… I peeled my lips apart. “Our idea of adventure is very different, isn’t it?”