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I laugh, then sob once more, knowing full well the feeling.
“You have two of the three stones, Akemi.” Her voice is weaker. Wet.
“No. Don’t even suggest it.”
“You have to go.”
“I c-can’t.”
“I hope I’ve done a good job… protecting the Starwatcher… you.”
I think of all the late nights we had together in the library searching for answers. The times we laughed in the common room. They way Esther would cling to me like a shadow in the corridors of the Watch. I took her friendship for granted.
She was always there.
Supporting me.
“You did.” My voice cracks. “You did a great job, Esther. More than any friend could ask for.”
“A friend,” she repeats, then closes her eyes. “I will tell him you say hi. Both of them.”
Esther’s form stills, a small smile still etched at the corners of her lips. She looks younger somehow. Peaceful.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper as I rise, taking two shuddering steps back. In one swift motion I unsheath my staff and slam the base into the hard-packed ground. Nothing. I slam it again. And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
My scream is as hollow as the space between the stars. I bear my teeth to the sky above, hating that they are watching this moment. Observing my life from the safety of their perches. My chest aches, jagged and scarred like the mountains stretching behind me in the darkness.
Each strike sends painful shocks through my blistered palms.
I stare at the shallow scrape I’ve managed to carve. It isn’t enough. It will never be enough.
Frustration rises so quickly, it steals my breath. I slam the staff down one last time before my strength abandons me entirely. I fall onto my hands, forehead nearly touching the dirt.
“I can’t…” The words die in my throat. My body has reached its limit. My arms shake so violently I can barely hold myself upright. My muscles scream for rest.
But Esther deserves a worthy final resting place. One that will be sung about for generations.
I force myself to look around.
Scattered across the clearing are small boulders that must have broken free from the mountainside seasons ago, rounded by weather and heavy enough to withstand rain.
If I cannot bury her beneath the earth, then I will build above her.
I push myself to my feet.
The first boulder is only a few steps away. I crouch beside it and wrap both arms around the rough stone. It barely moves. I grit my teeth and lift. My legs quiver, and pain explodes through my back. I stagger toward Esther and lower the stone beside her.
One.
I stand there panting. Then, I turn.
