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“Did you like the Marines?” she asked instead. Because she couldn’t think of a reasonable segue into tattoos that wouldn’t make it clear that she was daydreaming about his body.

“That’s a complicated question.” Noah let that sit there, and she thought that probably meant he wasn’t going to answer it. He reached out and poked at the label on the beer he’d ordered, but hadn’t touched yet, and she was shocked when he kept going. “I’m sure your brother could have told you this. It’s easy to be eighteen and idealistic when you sign up. Even knowing the state of the world, it’s hard to give up on love of country. Or an idea, more realistically, of what that country could become. Most guys I know thought they were doing a good thing.”

Raemy nodded. She knew that William had believed that. And she had to bite her tongue again to keep from interrupting him, because he looked like he wanted to keep talking.

“But then you throw that together with war, or conflicts, or whatever you want to call them. You mix it up with the decisions that you have to make, particularly as you climb in rank.” Noah lifted his gaze to hers again, and Raemy found she was holding her breath. “I don’t know how to answer the question you asked. But I’m proud of my service in the Marine Corps. I’m proud that I left before it could become the only thing I am. And I very much regret the things I couldn’t change when I was in. Does that answer the question?”

“I don’t know if it answers the question,” Raemy said honestly, when she wasn’t feeling quite so winded. “But it does tell me more about you. Which was the point.”

“I don’t…” he began. But he shook his head. “I keep waiting for you to understand what I’m trying to tell you, but I don’t think you want to.”

Raemy smiled at him, and yes, she noticed that he looked a little dazed when she did. So she made sure it was nice and wide. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear. I do understand what you’re trying to tell me, Noah. I just think you’re wrong.”

His gaze narrowed, but their meal started coming out then, and it was so good that it didn’t seem that either one of them could really concentrate on anything else.

“Is all the food in Oregon like this?” she asked, some while later.

After moaning in delight for a solid five minutes because her steak was cooked to perfection and the vegetables on her plate were so fresh and good that she felt like singing songs about them. She refrained, mostly because there were other people in the restaurant, and it would be rude.

Also because she couldn’t sing.

Noah was still looking dazed, possibly because of those moans, now that she thought about it, and she watched him swallow hard.

“People tend to take eating local pretty seriously,” he said, gruffly. Extra gruffly. “In Wild Rose Point, most of the people who work in food are pretty dedicated to making sure they know where it comes from. It makes a difference.”

“The food you made for me was to die for,” she told him. “I thought you were special, but now I see it’s a town-wide thing. How will I ever leave?”

And it was when he looked at her with alarm all over his face that the little joke that she was making kind of wormed its way deeper into her. It wasn’t as if she had to leave. It wasn’t as if anyone was expecting her anywhere. She couldn’t travel around the world forever, of course. She wasn’t retired like her parents. But she’d been saving and saving for years now, so she had that money. That meant she had some time to figure out what she wanted to do next.

Why not Wild Rose Point?

But she kept that to herself.

After dinner, they walked back outside. The cold had rolled in, the air was thick and damp, and all the streetlights seemed to have halos.

“It’s beautiful here,” Raemy said, with a happy sigh. “You’re lucky that you got to come here while growing up. My grandparents lived in Hannibal, Missouri, which has its charms. I do love a riverboat and you can’t beat Mark Twain. But it’s not really the same.”

“I feel like you haven’t gotten what you wanted to know,” Noah said, stiffly, standing there in the dark.

“I’m still getting what I want.” She looked up at him, and wondered if it was even possible for him to ever look at ease. “I told you inside. I want to get to know you, Noah. I think that’s what William would have wanted.” She shrugged. “And even if he didn’t, I do.”

“There are only so many ways that I can apologize,” he said, in that dark voice of his. “And that doesn’t even come close to what I owe you, your family⁠—”

She moved closer, following that instinct again, and grabbed the closest thing that she could. Which, in this case, were his wrists.

“You didn’t do it,” she said. Maybe a little too fiercely, but she didn’t take it back. “I can’t tell you not to regret calls you made that had bad outcomes, but this isn’t your fault. If it’s your fault, it’s everyone’s fault, and where do we begin? My brother wanted to be a Marine, just like you did. He signed the same documents that you did. I don’t know you very well, but I feel pretty certain that you wouldn’t like it if you did exactly what you’d signed up to do and had someone else running around after you did it, trying to take it back.”

“That’s—” He shook his head. “That’s not at all⁠—”

“You’ve built something beautiful here,” she went on, warming to the topic. “That’s clear to see. All of those men look up to you, and it makes sense. You’ve made this safe space for them. You’ve made it okay. But the only person you don’t appear to give grace to is yourself. And I don’t know how you can keep doing this, if you’re so busy beating yourself up that⁠—”

“Raemy,” he gritted out, and suddenly his hands were on her upper arms, and his face was right there in front of hers. “So help me God, but you have to shut up.”

He said it like it hurt him.

And before she could respond, he kissed her.

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