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‘You deflected it back onto you.’

‘I was the one needing correction. Erik then became the model Domenico would berate me over. I know now that was to drive a wedge between us—to keep me isolated and quiet. In some ways it worked.’

‘Because you didn’t ever tell Erik,’ she guessed.

He dropped his gaze. ‘I couldn’t tell anyone. He was the King and if it were to be leaked…’

Tilly’s hair flickered in the light cast by the phone. Strands of multicoloured flames shimmered, beckoning him closer. ‘Luca knew. Luca should have helped you.’ Energy hummed and her head lifted. ‘He should have stopped him.’

Alex rubbed his hand over his face but couldn’t help but stare. She was literal warmth, guiding him towards her. ‘He tried to block the path a couple of times,’ he muttered. ‘Offered to have me do some study with him. A distraction.’

She straightened, outraged. ‘He should have tried harder!’

Alex pulled her to him and kissed her. Needing to silence her. She melted—soft acquiescence, filling his senses with sweet honey. Too generous.

He stopped. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ She flipped her hands and held his tightly so he couldn’t step further back. ‘Take whatever you need from me right now.’

No. Sex couldn’t obliterate it. He knew. He’d tried. And he didn’t want to use her like that. He gazed down at her beautiful face. Not even the dim light, the damp misery diminished her beauty. ‘I wish you’d not come in here,’ he growled. ‘I wish you’d never…’

Not here.

‘It wasn’t your fault, Alex. None of this was ever your fault.’ Her grip tightened as he tensed. ‘It wasn’t. Nothing you did meant you deserved this.’

‘I can’t… I can’t.’ He blinked away the sudden sting, the irreparable tear in his soul that meant nothing could fill him for long. ‘We need to get out of here.’

She kept hold of his hand and led him like a blind man back to his room.

In the privacy of his apartment Tilly turned, aching to ease the well of hurt within him. He must have been terrified.

Alex released her hand and moved to the window. ‘I’m sorry you had to see that. I appreciate your discretion.’ In the five-minute walk back he’d rebuilt his walls and she didn’t blame him.

‘I shouldn’t have gone down there. I didn’t mean to push you—I was just worried.’

‘Because…’

She smiled wanly. ‘I like you, Alex.’

He leaned against the frame. ‘I thought I was repellent.’ Deflect with a sarcastic joke—except there was no smugness in him now. Just pain.

She approached him slowly. ‘I wanted you to be, but you’re not. You never were. But I didn’t mean to force you into telling me something so incredibly personal. I promise I won’t mention anything to anyone…or you again either.’

‘We’ve both suffered with selfish parents. Eventually I grew big enough and he couldn’t risk it. I try not to resent the hell out of him but I fail. Every time. It was only ever me. If I thought he would hurt Erik or Mum. Or you…’ He clenched his jaw. ‘It was years ago. Years,’ he growled angrily as if he shouldn’t care any more.

He’d not only been neglected, he’d also been physically abused. Not feeling wanted caused her deep pain. But he’d been singled out—deliberately hurt, which must be devastating. No wonder he’d created his own court. No wonder he’d sometimes indulged in what simply felt good. Yet beneath it all he was still agonisingly alone.

‘But sometimes feels like yesterday.’ She moved closer. Betrayal did that—reared up years later. ‘Maybe it will always hurt. You should have been protected. He should have protected you.’

‘You too, right?’ he said. ‘Your dad’s decision. Your mum leaving you.’

‘Yes.’

‘I went to boarding school aged eleven. Loved it. Got me away from him. Which wasn’t fair on either Mum or Erik when she got sick. When I got to come home I’d sneak out early—visit groups, you know. As a teen I coached a kids’ sports team—he couldn’t say no to that. They were nice. Supportive. Made me feel wanted. Then it was young-entrepreneur meetings. The start-up I invested in that went stratospheric. The people in this city helped me survive.’ He huffed a bitter laugh. ‘I also developed a taste for an easy thrill. Drugs and drink dulled my mind and I needed to stay sharp, but sex was available and felt good. Not relationships. No staying more than three nights or anything serious. Just…’

‘Escape.’

‘Plus I knew it would piss him off because he acts pious in public while he cheats in private.’