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“I am wondering if it was a mistake to return to Hertfordshire. I have been considering a fact that until recently I had overlooked. My Uncle Gardiner did not invite either of his sisters to his wedding. I wonder the reasons behind that. Aunt and Uncle Philips have visited, not regularly but two, no three times since the accident.”

She lapsed into silence. It was Robert that asked the question.

“I am sorry Miss Elizabeth but can you explain more please.”

“Sorry Robert, I was not trying to be enigmatic. I could have stayed at Gracechurch Street. It would not have been ideal for the Gardiner family but I know that I could have stayed. I wonder if by not inviting his sisters, especially my mother, he was allowing me that option. So the first part of my confusion is whether I should have left Gracechurch Street, it was the correct action for the Gardiners but not necessarily for me. And then there has been life here in Hertfordshire upon my return. It is what? Five weeks since I returned and I feel lost.”

Elizabeth sighed.

“I am struggling with my family, and what family means in general. Last night I was struck by Jane’s defense of Mr. Bingley, well of his sister. She apportioned more blame to me than to Caroline Bingley. As you can imagine that did not sit well with me, but my chamber at Netherfield Park was not the place to debate the matter.”

“Why do you think she reacted that way Miss Elizabeth?”

“I do not know for sure, it will be one of my questions. But Jane, Mary, Charlotte Lucas and my father have all chastised me for being too blunt and direct.”

“Blunt and direct?”

“Yes. My father was scathing in his critique of my conversational abilities.”

There was no hiding the hurt in Elizabeth’s voice and again Claire glanced at her husband.

“Apparently the appropriate way to respond is with sugared words, carefully structured sentences. My father so helpfully described it as elegantly thrusting with a poniard as opposed to my swinging with a broadsword.”

“We did not know you before you came to London, have you changed?”

Elizabeth nodded.

“Yes, I have. Despite how his critique made me feel, I understood completely. I do not have the patience for linguistic parlour games. I do not think I suddenly changed one day, rather it was the work of many months. I do not think I had the time.”

She stopped.

“No, that is not true. I chose not to bother with such things, instead devoting my time to assisting my uncle in his business. It comes back to the fundamental problem. I am not sure I know how to be an elegant lady with endless time on my hands.”

She shuddered.

“Such a thought fills me with horror.”

She stopped and faced her staff.

“These talks with you are incredibly helpful. Often, I have to talk something through to organise my thoughts. I am confused and upset about many things but most of all what I am going to do with my life. The autumn and winter hours are going to be busy.”

She reached out and squeezed Claire’s hand and nodded in thanks to Robert.

“Nothing will get solved in the next hour, let us return to Longbourn. Goodness only knows what Mrs. Bennet will have to say for herself.”

--

It could be summarised in two words. A lot. Mrs. Bennet had a lot to say about everything. Elizabeth was shocked that she seemed upset that Jane was better. It had been a troubling fever, stubbornly high for three days before finally breaking. And it had been Elizabeth who had nursed her better, without help from any other members of the family. Yet she was still being scolded for returning. And for allowing Jane to return as well. In barely more than a month Elizabeth had developed a finely-honed ability to tune out her mother. It was that kind of morning.

Of course when Mrs. Bennet saw Mr. Bingley escort Jane into the church all was suddenly well with the world. He handed her off to her family before joining the Netherfield Party. After the service both parties met outside the church.

“Oh Mr. Bingley, I cannot express how thankful we are for your care of my dearest daughter.”

Elizabeth almost turned and headed to Longbourn at that opening sally. She knew Jane was the favourite but his care?

“I did hardly anything Mrs. Bennet. Miss Elizabeth devoted hours to Miss Bennet’s care.”

Bingley might be unable to control his sister but he was a decent man.