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“A defensive mechanism. He has been pursued for seven, eight years. His father passed away five years ago and when he returned to society after his mourning the pursuit was even worse.”

More of Mr. Darcy’s behaviour made sense to Elizabeth. Then Lady Maria stunned her.

“You admitted he was handsome Miss Elizabeth, did you not find him attractive?”

Chapter 17

“Attractive Lady Maria?”

Elizabeth was unsure how to respond.

“You are a beautiful young lady, soon to reach your majority. Surely you have thought of marriage?”

Elizabeth stared at her hostess for several long moments.

“I do not know that I wish to discuss this.”

Elizabeth was startled by Lady Maria gently patting her hand.

“Is the prospect so unthinkable?”

Elizabeth recognised that Lady Maria was being gentle but also was not being deflected from her goal.

“It is something that I do not think about. Your question was ‘surely I have thought of marriage?’, when the truth is that I do not think of marriage. At least I have not in more than two years.”

“You have not? Why ever not?”

There appeared to be no polite way to refuse the question.

“I do not know how to say this in a polite, diplomatic and unintrusive manner. I am surprised at the assumption I should be thinking of marriage when you yourself never married. If anything, to me you are a role model showing me that a woman can live independently without submitting to a husband.”

“It is a fair retort. Do not forget that my grandfather, uncle and brother were or are Dukes. There is a difference in our circumstances, but thank you for the compliment. I was not courted, there was nothing official between us, but there was a young man. The connection was mutual but before anything could come of it he was killed during the siege of a place called Fort Ticonderoga in ’77 in the revolutionary war with the Americans. No one else matched up to him, at least in my mind. Looking back, I suspect I had young Jeremy on a pedestal, and no one would ever supplant him.”

“I am sorry for being so ill-mannered and intrusive.”

“You have nothing to be apologise for Miss Elizabeth. As I said when you first arrived I am prying, and acknowledge it.”

“Give me a moment while I order my thoughts please. This goes back many years. Growing up, Jane and I both vowed to only marry ‘for the deepest love’. Now I was 11, maybe just turned 12, and was still a child, not yet a woman. When I first uttered it, I did not know what that phrase meant, but over the next four years this became our mantra, our armour against the comments of Mrs. Bennet wanting us married off as quickly as possible. And it contrasted with the attitude of our friend Charlotte Lucas who explicitly proclaimed she was not romantic. She wanted nothing more than a comfortable home, to stop being a burden on her family, and did not care about the gentleman as long as he had a good character. Eight years later she did exactly that, she was more consistent in her beliefs than myself.

“Everything started to change after my aunt’s death in ’07. My society and connections changed overnight and I was no longer in contact with people I had known my whole life. You know of my life over the last four years. I was repeatedly exposed to two things; the attitude of gentlemen to those in trade; and the attitude of all men to an intelligent woman. I do not know the exact date that I changed, my outlook had changed before I was even consciously aware, but I received little to no respect from men and as a result reciprocated the feeling.

“Gradually I came to dismiss all men, other than my father and two uncles. I had taken my father down off his pedestal before I came to London but still considered him a role model for a potential husband. That changed as well. The only men I respect are industrious men. My uncle lost both his legs above the knee, suffers pain in them every day yet works hard day in and day out. He afforded me the opportunity to be just as busy and I grasped it with both hands. The champagne cork has popped, it cannot be resealed.”

“No gentleman had caught your attention?”

Elizabeth paused for a moment.

“My almost immediate reaction was to blurt out ‘no’. But even considering it for a moment I think the answer is still no.”

“Why not seems a question without an easy answer but it not going to stop me asking it.”

“My experiences with men have not been positive.”

“That is a worrying response Miss Elizabeth, please tell me it is not the worst.”

Elizabeth shook her head.

“I must ask you to reconfirm that you will talk of this with no one without my permission.”