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Book 1 Chapter 3

The wedding breakfast of William and Lydia Collins was a five act play with all five acts going on at the same time. It was not that the event was without subtexts, there were plenty of them. it was more there were so many competing scenes for the casual observer.

First there was the rambling fool that was William Collins. The role of the groom on his wedding day, especially at the breakfast, is to escort his wife around the room and thank everyone for attending. It is acceptable to praise the hostess, almost always his new mother-in-law, for arranging such a wonderful breakfast. That is it. The rest of the time he is to remain silent. William Collins on the other hand…

“Why on earth is talking about the windows at Rosings Park at his wedding breakfast? The next thing you know he will talking about the chimney pieces.”

Mary could not stop her giggle.

“He has mentioned them already.”

“You will not hear me say this very often but poor Lydia.”

“Look at her. Most brides do not look bored on their wedding day. Does he never shut up?”

Jane used the excuse of her pregnancy to remain at Chipping Ongar. She had no wish to be in the company of her mother and so sent her regards to Lydia through Elizabeth. Their Uncle Gardiner had sent Mary back to Longbourn in his carriage and had included an overnight stop at the Mulberry House. They two of them had completed the journey back to Hertfordshire the next morning. It was the Tuesday before Lydia’s wedding before the return of her two sisters and the groom had arrived late the previous day.

Every time they were in Mr. Collins’ company they hardly got the chance to speak. It was Rosings Park this and Lady Catherine de Bourgh that. Both blatantly used the excuse of it being the wrong time of the month and hid in their bedrooms. They snagged Kitty and asked her for all the news.

“I was asked to stand up with Lydia, be her bridesmaid, and I was happy to agree. Lydia is trying to make me jealous that she is the second one of us that is married. But having seen, and had to listen, to her fiancé I find myself happy to remain a maiden for a while longer. I have found that not reacting is the best way to deal with her and Mama. Once they leave on Friday at lunchtime then I will have a chance to think and do something for myself. I have been a slave to the two of them since long before Christmas.”

The second act of the play was her news about Netherfield Park.

“We do not have time to talk about it now but the tenant who leased Netherfield Park appears to have abandoned it.”

“Abandoned?”

“Mr. Bingley, the only one of the five with any manners, left to return to London. He told several gentlemen in the neighbourhood that he would be back in three or four days. He has not been seen since, and this was back at the end of November, more than six weeks ago. The other four left the day after Mr. Bingley and the sister ordered the house to be closed up. There has been no further news, not even instructions for the boxes after Christmas. Mr. Green, the Steward, has done the best he can and asked Uncle Philips to contact Mr. Bingley. There has been no reply.”

Elizabeth and Mary had been absent for all but the very first days of the tenancy and so had nothing to add. But the poor showing by someone wishing to be thought of as a gentleman would be all round the neighbourhood.

And so it had proven. It had been almost the sole topic at the mid-winter Assembly yet three weeks after that celebration it was still being chewed over by all the families of the district.

The third act of the play involved the relative strangers at the wedding breakfast. Mrs. Bennet had invited the senior officers of the Militia regiment to attend. They had been encamped outside Meryton for close to two months and he been guests throughout the area. The Colonel, the Major and two of the Captains were present. The Colonel had begged permission to include his father, a retired General, and Mrs. Bennet had been happy to extend an additional invitation. She thought it brought a certain grandeur to the occasion.

“Are the Captains drunk already?”

Mary hissed the question at her sister. Elizabeth shrugged.

“They appear to be. Is this common behaviour?”

The last was asked of Kitty.

“Yes, but normally at evening events. I do not recall attending an event in the morning with them. Do they have no control whenever there is alcohol served?”

It was unanswerable but the two Captains displayed their low roots in front of the neighbourhood they were ostensibly there to protect. Neither the Colonel or Major of the Militia appeared to notice, and if they did notice the behaviour they expressed no outrage at the two drunken sots. Unlike the General whose visage grew ever more stern.

It did keep the company entertained as they switched back and forth between the different groups of soldiers.

The fourth act in this simultaneous drama involved the Bennet parents. This was the marriage of their youngest child, and the second wedding in less than a year. Mr. Bennet gave the appearance of being utterly indifferent to the proceedings, lacking even the basic emotions. While Mrs. Bennet, never one short of an emotion at the best of times, was completely beside herself. But not in happiness for her daughter, but for herself. She was saved. She must have used the phrase 50 times since the engagement had been announced. It was clear to the whole neighbourhood that Lydia Bennet had been sold off to William Collins for the primary benefit of Fanny Bennet. And as usual, she was oblivious to the scene she was making.

This part of the play was more observed than talked of. But the guests watched and listened to her atonal counterpoint to Mr. Collins. And Fanny Bennet had the lungs of a Billingsgate fishwife.

The fifth and final act of the play was the return of Elizabeth and Mary Bennet. Both had left after the Michaelmas Assembly, Elizabeth within days, Mary within a week. And by now everyone knew that something had happened at the Assembly. Most were sure that the rude Mr. Darcy had said something either to Elizabeth or about her. Mrs. Ellis’ testimony was now known to all, including Mrs. Bennet. What had been missing up until that week was any knowledge of what was actually said. Elizabeth had been spoken to more than Lydia, despite it being the latter’s wedding breakfast.

But Elizabeth was not playing.

“You are telling me that it was nothing other than a coincidence that you left immediately after the Assembly? I do not wish to call you a liar Elizabeth but old Mrs. Ellis has told everyone of your angry face.”