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Is my mom one of those glimmers up there, looking out for me? What would she think of me and my life? Always traveling, running away. Never settling for too long in one place at the risk of everything else catching up with me.

I rest my tired limbs against the deck’s guardrail and breathe out. “Do you remember when we talked about this place, Mom?”

The cold breeze sweeping gently through my hair is my only response. “I wanted to come here so badly.” I let out a chuckle laced with melancholy at the memory. “You couldn’t bear hearing me talk about it for another second.”

I furiously brush away the tears pooling in my eyes and groan. Every fucking time my mind has space to quiet down, this is where it wanders to. To the past I can’t extricate myself from. To my mother, to Oliver.

And when I’m not paying attention, the tears rise, and with them, my anger.

I won’t allow it. I won’t allow myself to be weak again.

I need a distraction, something to help me take the edge off. Maybe if I smooth my mussed-up hair and put on a touch of mascara, I can head back to the main building and find someone lonely enough to spend the rest of the night with me.

I snort. How pathetic have I become?

I start marching toward the main building in hopes of catching Emma when a faint orange glow behind the cabin draws my attention, tugging my feet in its direction.

Oliver is there, sitting on a massive log next to the campfire. A blanket is draped over his body, and he holds a travel mug in his hands, his gaze lost somewhere in the roaring flames. From where he sits, he doesn’t see me approach, so I make sure to stomp my feet as I draw closer.

He raises his eyes to me. “Hi.”

I smile lightly and nod toward the space next to him. “Can I join you?”

“Of course.” Oliver scoots over to give me more room.

“I’ve been looking for you.” I glance at the steaming mug he’s holding. The sweet aroma tickles my nose.

“I needed some time by myself.” He takes a sip. “It’s been a day.”

The questions burn my tongue. Some that popped up in these last hours, some that I’ve been rehashing for years. But I can’t open that door. If I do, if I ask the questions I’ve been craving the answers to for years, my heartbreak will drown me just as hard as it did back then, and it would be like it happened yesterday all over again. I’m a tough woman, but I’m not sure anyone would be tough enough to go through that twice in one lifetime.

So instead, I focus on matters that won’t wreck me. “I’m probably the last person you want to talk to, but I’m here if you want to tell me what happened earlier.”

After my behavior these past few days, it’d take a miracle for him to share whatever is on his mind. But to my surprise, he chuckles, stretching his long legs in front of him. “You want honesty?”

“When have I ever made you think otherwise?” I ask.

We lock eyes.

It’s not the first time he’s asked me that. And it’s not the first time I’ve given him that answer.

We both let out a laugh that breaks the tension, if only for a small second.

Oliver rakes his free hand through his already messy hair. “It’s been hard. Being here with you. It has . . . stirred some things up.” He inhales, as if it took all the breath he had to push out those words. “I never thought I’d actually meet you one day.”

“Me neither,” I say, my voice trembling. And then I decide to push my luck. “How is it?”

“What?”

“Meeting me.”

The light of the campfire dances across his face, a tango of orange and red flickering on the edges of his cheeks, his jaw. His eyes glow like liquid gold.

He stares into the flame, a smile tugging at his lips. “I mean, it hasn’t exactly been the easiest week so far. You’ve made sure of that. But if what you’re truly asking me is if you were like the person I’ve spent entire days imagining, then my answer is no. I wasn’t even close to how beautiful, fierce, and smart you are. It’s one thing to know it through your words. It’s another to experience it in person when I never thought I would.”

I must be gaping at him, because he laughs, and the sound warms me up better than the fire in front of us.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.