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If Riley were here, she would tell me to get a grip on myself and my feelings.

But Oli isn’t a friend. Truth be told, I don’t know what he is. Being here with him has stirred so many things that I’ve been ignoring for so long, like how lonely I’ve been without him in my life. And while some part of me hates him for putting me through this, for making me know what it’s like to miss him, to live my life without him in it, I can’t deny the constant pull between us. It tugs me to him like a gravitational force I can’t break away from. Through the years since we reached our tipping point, I never could bring myself to open up and trust someone again. How could I, when Oliver never gave my heart back?

It would be nice here. It really would be.

But despite my very bones wanting to move past this more than anything, despite even contemplating giving him my heart all over again, my walls are still there. Not as high, but still standing straight.

I tried to avoid the subject during this last week with him because I didn’t think I needed the closure it could give me. I thought talking about it again would only bring up the ugly memories I’ve tried so hard to bury.

But with that comes the other side of the coin, and now here I am.

Unable to answer, because I’m too scared.

Scared that he’ll hurt me, that he’ll leave me again.

Scared that he didn’t come five years ago because he never wanted to.

Scared to learn that he never loved me as much as I loved him.

I brought this all on myself. But I don’t think I can escape the truth anymore. I need to know. I need to ask. If only so I might see what life could be here without that voice in the back of my head warning me of all the ways he could betray me again.

What happened?

I must have stayed silent for a long time, because Oliver pauses, his hands still warm on my back. Softly, he brushes some hair off my shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to make you panic when I said what I just said,” he says. “I like having you around. That’s the truth. I’m not gonna hide that.” His thumbs stroke my neck. “I forgot what it was like . . . to have something—someone—to look forward to. But none of it should make you stay if that’s not what you want.”

I swallow, going over every possibility in my mind. “I guess . . . it’d be nice to stay here a while. If you’d have me, with you . . . here.”

Oliver loosens a breath. “Yes. Yes! Of course you can stay here, Charlee. I’ll even have a set of keys made for you so you can go in and out and do whatever you want, even if I’m not home.”

I laugh, then turn around and plop my head on my hand. “Okay, okay, before you ask me to move in and be your wife, I want to discuss something first.”

He stares at me, his eyes wide as they drop from my eyes to my . . . breasts. On full display.

“Oops.” A rush of heat flames my cheeks—and other parts of my body—when I see the way he’s eating up every inch of me . . . “Sorry, I forgot you had taken it off.”

I grab my bra, but his hand comes down on my wrist. “Don’t.” He swallows. “I-if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” I rasp.

But he doesn’t let go of my wrist. Instead, he looks at me and allows me to see how much this is costing him, how much he’d like nothing more than to lay me flat underneath him.

Do it, I think, hoping it’ll reach his mind.

He won’t, I know that, but he’s still drinking me in, and the weight of his stare hardens my peaks. That’s how much power he has over me.

“Oli, look at me,” I softly say. He does, and my body buckles under the emotions flaring in his gaze. “Tell me what happened five years ago.”

Shadows darken his eyes. “You want to know?” he asks in a ragged breath.

I nod. “Please.”

“Okay.” He gathers my hands in his and looks around the room. “But first, I’m gonna need you to put your shirt on because there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to focus if you’re half-naked.”

I laugh openly, letting the sound lighten the air between us. “Okay.” I grab my shirt from the floor and throw it on. “Better?”

He smiles. “No, because I miss them already. But yes, if we’re about to have this conversation.” He takes my hands again. “Okay. When you—”